What God May Really Be Like – Misbeliefs About God

Must We Obey To Be Loved By God?

Our obedience has absolutely nothing to do with God’s love for us. Not even earthly parents stop loving their children just because they are disobedient. God is not a conditional lover – loving us only if we obey. We do not have to worry to obey God a certain amount to have or maintain our salvation. We are saved when we decide to continually believe and trust in God to the best of our ability.  Pagans are the ones who should worry about obedience for their own good, but they want nothing to do with their Creator. God certainly grieves selfish choices because of the pain it will bring to His children, but He doesn’t stop loving us.

It is imperative to understand God’s unconditional love.  Jesus reprimanded the Pharisees for their misguided emphasis on rules and obedience rather than a relationship and God’s unconditional love. Perhaps Jesus understood the Pharisees were only serving themselves for status reasons in society. God’s love and His mercy is our necessary nourishment. No gloomy uncertainty as to God’s favor can conquer our battle against self-centeredness. We can start each day feeling accepted rather than rejected. God knew we would always be frustrated thinking our efforts will never be enough. We aren’t capable of meeting even our own standards. When we understand how much God loves and values us, we will be more empowered to live selflessly.

Fear is for babies and evil folks. Hell was not used to scare into Heaven those seeking God. Jesus warned the consequence for those hell-bent on evil is destruction in the end. Fear often leads to temporary change to not get caught, not lifelong transformation. Fear doesn’t lead to reflections how to better ourselves. Fear and obligatory love never lead to an intimate relationship in human or spiritual relationships, which truly empower us to be the kind of person we desire to be. God’s unconditional love provides comfort to those whose failures afflict their consciences. We do not have to continually despair over past or present failures. We hate ourselves for not being holier; we do not need to heap God’s hate on ourselves as well 

God does not seem concerned that we will use His grace as a license to sin, as the consequence of sin is punishment enough. Our own guilt robs us of God’s assurance and love for us. Understanding God’s grace causes one to sin less not more. God’s grace continually inspires one to not want to disappoint, just as we do not wish to let down a partner, parent, or boss we respect deeply. God loves our good works, but He does not see works as a way to justify His love for us. Works are not so that God can love us but for our own good as they have intrinsic blessings. A person who tells the truth does not fear being caught and leaves a legacy for others to follow. The wicked must live in fear and die in vain.

A Christian’s desire and the desire of our Creator is holiness. We want so much to love God as He loves us and to love others as we wish to be loved. What leads to such obedience? Fear of rejection doesn’t lead to obedience. Understanding God’s unconditional love for us inspires to love Him back.  You don’t have to obey to be loved, but knowing how much God loves us can motivate to love Him back. To love God is to love ourselves and others. God is always waiting with open, loving arms for those who desire to be loved and encouraged.

Must We Believe In Absolutes?

God sometimes gets a bad rap about rules in the Old Testament, but God’s laws were purposeful and always for one’s good. A child will say the same about an unselfish parent’s rules as they mature. We must be sensitive what we claim to be absolutes from God’s perspective. Does the Bible really teach women cannot be pastors? Does the Bible really teach God tortures forever those who do not desire to live with Him forever after death? God forbid one seeker is driven to despair or unbelief because of disputable images of God. 

Our vocabulary suggests unbelief in absolutes is impossible. To use the word “tragedy” suggests there is some standard of good or bad. Parenting is impossible without believing some actions are right and other actions are wrong. Who wants to be around children that have no sense of morality? A family or society without shame is chaos.

It is an absolute that there is a Creator or there isn’t a Creator, so Christians and Atheists stand together. Personally, I prefer whoever is making the absolutes have a complete understanding of how things are. The Judge must be PERFECT and not just stating an opinion.  No absolutes aren’t much of an option logically or relationally. There is no basis for moral duty, no right for justice, my actions don’t count, I don’t count. Absolutes absolutely but whose?

Can We Ask God For Anything And Get It?

Any loving parent would say to their child at one time or another “Anything you need, I mean anything, please just ask.” Certain conditions are understood without discussion, but we still love our children unconditionally. Sometimes, we might think God loves/God loves me not depending on if our prayers are answered our way.

Matthew 21:21-22 says “…you can say to this mountain, ‘Go throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask in prayer.” This was not a blank check as Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” prayer was not answered, but Jesus had a point. It will be as if we can move mountains when having faith in Jesus rather than denying that Jesus was the Messiah. Matthew 7:7 says “Ask and it will be given to you…” It is possible to do to others what you want done to you if only you ask God. [v12]

One of the most prevalent aspects of petition prayer in Scripture involves individual, character change. In the “whatever ask in His name you shall receive” passages in James, the context often is wisdom and endurance in trails [James 1:6-8; 4:1-3; 5:13-18; I John 3:19-22; 5:14-15]. We can ask for other things, but we are praying to the Creator of the Universe. Self-centered prayer is rather presumptuous. Jesus recognized God always had His and others best interests in mind – “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”

I am not trying to excuse God from the life-changing business; I just wish to make God less discouraging or confusing when our prayers aren’t answered according to our will. Scripture assumes our requests are always answered because we desire God’s will. What loving parent would not do what is always best for their children and the world? How much more our heavenly Parent!

God placed a higher priority on freedom than control. Genuine relationships cannot be coerced. God does not always intervene the way we wish and things happen that are not God’s will, but God has not abandoned us or lost control. God does not guarantee we will never suffer from the hands of others, directly or indirectly. God will not override the freedom of others because we simply ask Him to do so. God has made it His mission to win back the hearts of people by choice rather than just destroy and start over. Do we pray in hopes to manipulate God or to cooperate and ultimately trust God to run the universe how He knows best? 

How Does God Bless Us?

We tend to think of blessings in terms of material prosperity or personal comfort. The Bible never promises such things or a life without problems. The disciples’ devotion did not prevent a martyr’s death for believing Jesus was who He claimed to be. Family devotions do not do away with rebellion. A devotion to studies does not guarantee a good career. There are no guarantees of material blessings in a free world, only God’s guarantee of His love, acceptance, and future eternity with Him. Believing otherwise can cause a strain in our relationship with God when material or physical blessings don’t come our way.

Good works are not so that God can love us more or bless us materially. Walking in God’s ways is a blessing in of itself. God desires we become more like Christ for our own good. A person who tells the truth does not fear being caught. One who speaks honestly leads to genuine respect from others. A righteous person can be remembered for generations and for eternity because of their positive influence. The wicked will die with nothing.

God sees every single act of kindness. We may be forgotten after retirement in our company but God never forgets. The parable of the workers in the vineyard in Matthew 20 gives hopes to those that start late.  Thank God there is not an exact accounting. Prayer is to know better who God is so we may become more like Him, not so that God will love and bless us more. God’s lack of material blessings doesn’t mean He doesn’t care or love us. God already loves us unconditionally.

Does God Whisper To Us?

When Bill Hybels writes you better listen. The man has a passion to serve God and has accomplished much for the kingdom of God. He wrote a book The Power of a Whisper: Hearing God. Having The Guts To Respond. He waited until after decades of ministry to write his thoughts on God’s directions for us. Bill is convinced God does sometimes speak to us, not necessarily audibly, and those can surely be the sweetest times in our relationship with our Creator. Who doesn’t long for such communication and direction from their Best Friend?

I am not sure it matters whether we believe the Bible suggest God today does or doesn’t speak to us. More importantly, God’s people don’t need to feel stuck or anxious. My heart goes out to those who long for such guidance and feel that they never get it, or they are confused if they are hearing God’s voice. When others say God’s speak to them, one might feel less spiritual because they don’t hear God in the same way.

Many don’t claim God speaks to them audibly but nevertheless God does speak to them, perhaps giving them impressions in the mind that we all have from time to time. I was on a bike ride and I saw a young lady whose car had broken down. Plenty of cars were around. Surely someone would help. Who doesn’t have a cell phone? I am no mechanic for sure. I was looking forward to a long bike ride and stopping causes my legs to tighten up. Blah, blah, blah! Was God whispering for me to stop and check on her? Next time, I decided I would stop. How do we know though when the voice is from God?

I believe God doesn’t need to whisper to us; He has already shouted! The Bible is chocked full of wisdom and guidance, if only I would listen and take action. It can be overwhelming and guilt producing, but we must remind ourselves God loves and sees every act of kindness, not just the times of omission. The Bible speaks of making wise decisions based on circumstances, gifts, and passions. We can seek out the wisdom of others for future decisions. But, we don’t have to wonder if God is speaking to us. The Bible is explicit about God’s moral will but does not imply there is a specific individual will in the day-to-day lives of believers.

God will speak audibly if needed; otherwise, assume you have God’s blessings if it isn’t immoral.  Don’t worry whether God is whispering to you if that is troubling you. God has never spoken to me audibly and I am unable to discern if my impressions are His, but I don’t lack guidance from God. God has given us total freedom to pursue the desires of our heart. God does not somehow lose control because our lives do not follow a specific script. In I Corinthians 7 about the decision to marry or not, Paul’s counsel depended on personal and worldly circumstances at the time. Paul did not condemn whichever choice is made. We do not serve a God who hides or leaves us wondering about His desires. God doesn’t demand His children pursue a certain career like some earthly parents. Make the wisest choice you know to make at the time. Many “Godly” paths can be chosen while still remaining entirely within God’s will. You just can’t go wrong!

Gender Roles – Mutual Submission?

Can we agree that male hierarchy, gender subordination, or one-sided female submission can lead to abuse more than mutual submission? One-sided submission qualifies as some form of subordination, if you call it “loving leadership” as opposed to self-giving service. Women over the centuries have been subject to abuse at the hands of men. The last thing men need over women is any type of authority. One person wrote to the editor of a newspaper “…it’s been bothering me since 9/11. What’s the difference between the strain of Islam that proscribes gender roles and its counterpart in Christianity that does the same thing, albeit with a different set of prohibitions?”

Words are important. Does the Bible teach husbands are to exercise loving leadership over their wives in marriage as opposed to self-giving love? I have seen a great deal of pain come from the notion that the husband is the spiritual leader of the wife. It is assumed husbands must make the final decision when there is an impasse. Normal conflict resolution skills can be used in any dyad relationship. I have never had a decision in 28 years that required one sex being the final decision-maker always. If we cannot be positive the Bible teaches one-sided submission or mutual submission, shouldn’t we error on the side less prone to abuse?

Why would God ordained men as leaders when Jesus’ emphasis was never on authority but service? Even Jesus came to serve not be served. [Mt 21: 26-28] When there is debate concerning the interpretation and meaning of the biblical text, we should favor the viewpoint that is less of a stumbling block to Christians and the most satisfying from a relational standpoint for those seeking God. If we are not positive what the correct biblical interpretation is, we should error on the side of liberty.

Ministry is not about women’s rights or equality but a responsibility to use one’s gifts to serve others. Many women are denied the privilege to exercise their spiritual gifts in the church because of one main biblical passage [I Tim. 2:11-15], which is highly debated among evangelical scholars. Women were never referred to as pastors in the Bible but then neither were men. There were plenty of men and women ministers/co-workers. [Rm 16]  Gifts were never stated to be gender specific. [Acts 2:17-18, I Cor 12, Rm 12] The priesthood of Christians is for men and women. [I Peter 2] It seems too risky to not empower half the church in their giftedness.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I still have a long way to go but I think I am getting there. Honey, please just give me 28 more years – pretty please!

Why do I do the things I wish my spouse would stop doing? Let’s work on ourselves first.

Why does my brain first assume bad intent rather than mostly good will?  Some of us are married to the devil. Many of us just think we are. Are our spouses any different than us? Don’t we for the most part have good intentions but screw up from time to time. Do we want mercy or instant justice?  

Let’s treat one another like we want to be treated – with love and respect. Say sorry when we mess up. If we can’t break the crazy cycle get help.

We better drive a stake in the ground till death do us part, barring obvious to all intentional evil by our partner with no desire to act otherwise. It just is more stable for the children. We can’t change the past but our future is undetermined.

The Creator knows a thing or two about relationships, since He created them. Know and trust His ways. Your odds are better you will have less regrets.

Why Does God Allow Personal Tragedies?

How we answer “Why, God?” in times of distress is critical to our relationship with God. Much of suffering is either self-inflicted or inflicted upon others by lawless and cruel people. A person is killed by a drunk driver because an individual makes a choice to drink and drive. Even some natural disasters can be traced to exploiting and destroying nature by pollution of air, water, and other acts of destruction to soil and vegetation. Freedom gone awry, after God created a perfect world in the beginning, has cause progressive deterioration both of physical and human nature.

Obviously, many tragedies are not self-inflicted or inflicted by others. A person may become paralyzed after riding a horse just because of the way they fell. We need to have a clear understanding of God’s role in suffering, or we may be tempted to blame God rather than receive the comfort He can provide. Tragedy is hard enough without wondering if God is punishing us or “God, do you really love me?”

Many are comforted by believing that God is directing everything that happens, but many struggle with the thought that God is pulling strings in heaven as to what tragedy we may or may not experience? Do we really think God allows some children to be sexually abused but not others because of some grand purpose or scheme? Did God really select which people would escape the 911 terrorist attacks? God forbid disputable understandings of God’s role in suffering drive people to unbelief or despair.

Many are more comforted knowing that God does not cause or plan all their sufferings, that God grieves as He did not desire our suffering, that God will walk hand-in hand with us through any tragedy to bring good from it (though he does not orchestrate evil to accomplish this), and that God promises an end to suffering as He has conquered death. What kind of God allows His Son to be crucified for accusations He was innocent of in hopes of persuading us to trust in God rather than our own destructive ways?

Suffering, whether self-inflicted or inflicted upon others, had to become a part of God’s story if He was to allow freedom. God cannot just manufacture events so suffering only impacts those who deserve it. Even God cannot create and guarantee life without violence and suffering and yet there be genuine free will. Besides, when God interferes with one tragedy we would accuse Him of injustice until He prevented every single tragedy.  God allows suffering as a megaphone to distract us from our selfishness. God allowing suffering may be the only way to love the greatest number of selfish people back to unselfishness while preserving freedom. The alternative is instant justice and no mercy. Suffering, even it not self-inflicted, can enable us to not fall in love with what the world offers. Significant changes often only happen during adversity than prosperous times.

God allows suffering as a megaphone to enable us to better serve others, as did Jesus’ suffering. Jesus’ sufferings, not miracles, is what turned hearts rather than heads. Personal sufferings enable us to be trusted by others, because we have “walked in their shoes.” We can trust Jesus because He has faced and conquered all the adversities we face. God can, and does, bring good out of terrible tragedies if we don’t allow a misunderstanding of God’s role in this world to prevent that.

Is Forgiveness Unconditional?

God’s love is unconditional but does the Bible teach God’s forgiveness is unconditional? I write with some trepidation of being misunderstood. God’s grace and forgiveness is at the very core of His character. It seems current advice or sermons on forgiveness are directed toward victims and the guilty are neither admitting nor confessing their sins. Doesn’t it take two to tango for there to be genuine forgiveness? 

God always forgives those who seek His forgiveness. But, passages such as Joshua 24:19-20 say God sometimes is not forgiving:  “…He will not forgive your rebellion and your sins.”  The good news is the Israelites did repent of ways harmful to themselves and others and God forgave them. [vs.23-24] Matthew 6:14 says God’s forgiveness is conditioned upon giving forgiveness: “For if you forgive others when they sin against you, your Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”   Luke 17:3-4 states forgiveness is for those that admit wrongdoing and seek forgiveness. “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them, and if they repent, forgive them. If they sin against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” 

One is hard press to find any biblical passage which indicates God forgives those who don’t repent, or that God commands His followers to forgive those who don’t seek forgiveness.   It is almost nonsensical to consider forgiveness if it is not being sought. Easy forgiveness may not encourage necessary change by the sinner, who continues to prey on other victims. Matthew 18 advices when a brother or sister sins against us: “Go and point out the fault…if they will not listen, take one or two others along with you… If they refuse to listen, treat them as you would a pagan or tax collector.”  This passage doesn’t say to go ahead and forgive your brother or sister in Christ anyway. One might ask Why would God ask us to do something He doesn’t Himself – forgive the unrepentant? 

What about Jesus’ and Stephens’ forgiveness of their persecutors? Acts 7: 59  says: “While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, ‘Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.’ Then he fell on his knees and cried out, ‘Lord, do not hold this sin against them.’ When he had said this, he fell asleep.” Jesus said in Luke 23:34:  “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing….” These were extraordinary circumstances as both were preparing to enter God’s presence.  They were forgiving spiritual blindness, which their persecutors neither confessed nor recognized. Some behaviors seem less willful and more due to spiritual ignorance at times. This is not the case of parents who abuse their children and deny any wrongdoing or individuals such as Hitler who killed simply because of the family you were born into. 

The guilty must recognize how their selfishness is ruining their lives and lives of others. Starting a confession with “I acted this way because…” is not a confession.   The Christian victim  may be haunted with thoughts whether they must forgive their violator, sometimes at the urging of others, even though the violator doesn’t seek forgiveness. The challenge for victims, when forgiveness is not sought,  may not be to focus on forgiveness. The Bible doesn’t say God forgives always or advise Christians must forgive after no longer fellowshipping with their siblings in Christ. (i.e. Matt 18:15-20) The challenge is to not take revenge. God is better able to handle revenge without being vindictive.  We must not allow bitterness to rule or interfere with life on a daily basis. It serves no purpose to allow another person’s sins to continue to hold one hostage.  

It can be a personal choice whether one chooses to forgive an unrepentant person or not. It can be understood reconciliation is not possible until the guilty party seeks forgiveness by repenting. I simply believe the guilty must understand the severity of their actions and necessary changes for current and future relationships.

Christians are encouraged to forgive those who genuinely regret their actions. Who of us has not sinned? Reconciliation is not possible without forgiveness.  It is the very heart of the gospel and essence of God. People often only experience what God is like when they are forgiven though undeserving. One cannot always earn forgiveness. One cannot payback what they have taken from someone (i.e. childhood with appropriate parental love, sexual oneness in marriage). Forgiveness may not be instant. Genuineness is proven by actions as well as words. Christians don’t forgive because others deserve it; Christians forgive because God forgives us. We certainly did nothing to earn or deserve His grace, but confession is an integral aspect of how we receive God’s grace.

Why Did Jesus Really Die On The Cross?

I have never quite understood why God needed to be appeased by a human sacrifice, especially His own Son! This was the way of the Old Testament gods. Can God only love me fully after sacrificing His Son to satisfy His sense of justice and soothe His anger? Is the emphasis of Scriptures on God’s wrath toward us or His love for us? Does God hate the sinner or the sin?

Was the Cross God’s attempt to persuade us to follow His Son’s example to trust God to overcome the power of sin in our lives or was the Cross  mainly for substitution reasons – God demanded death as a penalty for our  sins to appease His sense of justice and as a way to escape Hell? Any biblical passage in isolation can be used to defend either point of view. I am not denying Jesus’ death in some ways substituted for the consequences we deserve as a result of our self-centeredness, but I believe the Cross is so much more about God’s love than His wrath and how we can have victory over sin.

The Cross is not a revelation of God’s revenge but His compassion. The Cross is not to change God’s attitude toward us but our attitude toward God.  The Cross was not to pay some penalty but to provoke repentance for our gain. God is not concern with the guilt of our sins but with the restoration of the relationship. God does not need to be reconciled to us; we need to be reconciled to God.  God’s focus was on the power of sin over us, not our sins. God did not need to be appeased and His Honor restored before He could love us. 

• The Cross is an invitation to a friendship with the Creator and all the grandness that includes and not merely to escape Hell
• The Cross visibly demonstrates the destructiveness of sin and that forgiveness is never without a cost
• The Cross displays God’s wrath not against the sinner to hurt them or justify Himself but against sin that controls us
• The Cross gives God moral authority and credibility with humans, for God knew that He must go to  incredible lengths to convince us 
• The Cross is the undeniable proof that God loves us more than we can imagine and hopefully moves us to  love others as God loves us
• The Cross is an act of a loving God, not an act of appeasement from an angry God, so we might feel free from guilt and have our longing for forgiveness satisfied
• The Cross enables us to know God sees us as Christ, as our sins are nailed to the Cross,  so we can be comfortable in His presence
• The Cross expresses God desires not for a legal settlement of our guilt but  for a restored, personal  relationship
• The Cross encourages us to enter a relationship with God which is our only hope to break the power of evil over us
• The Cross demonstrates that we must trust God, as Jesus did, than believe in Satan’s lie as Adam and Eve did
• The Cross was Jesus’ attempt to influence us to follow in His footsteps to trust in God, than our own wisdom, to save ourselves 
• The Cross was because God loved us and not so He could love us
• The Cross was not God’s desire for vengeance but reconciliation,  so we might turn from ways of harming ourselves and others
• The Cross was not God’s abandon of Jesus but Jesus feeling the full force of sin as we might in dark moments – “God, why have you forsaken me”
• The Cross was not to satisfy some need in God at the expense of His Son but to satisfy a need in us at His expense