What God May Really Be Like – Misbeliefs About God

Why Is It Best To Assume The Bible Isn’t Inspired By God?

I have written here concerns about the Bible. We should always question interpretations since biblical scholars interpret differently the same passages, especially since few acknowledge their interpretation could be wrong. The challenge is many interpret their inspired Book as God being violent or advocating violence. This has led to imitating or justifying violence in the name of a perfect loving God. We should then also question if the Bible is inspired by God. We can’t prove God controlled the writers’ thoughts to always understand God perfectly. Anyway, even if all agree on interpretation, which is rare, we should still question if God really inspired the writers’ thoughts if contradictory of a loving God.

How an inspired Book can lead to violence

Many interpret the Quran or the Bible advocating killing Jews or condemning gays respectively, because Allah or God supposedly approves such actions. Most, especially extremists, don’t acknowledge their interpretation could be wrong. God supposedly orders Israel to commit hundreds of atrocities in the OT – “… put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys” (I Sam. 15:3). God’s possible justification of violence can lead to imitation of violent solutions such as capital punishment, blowing up abortion clinics, or unnecessary wars in the name of God. I believe it is more critical to question if the Bible is inspired by God, making one’s interpretation the lesser debate since most believe their interpretation is correct.  

Debatable interpretations are often assumed to perfectly represent God

The truth is biblical scholars who have a deep respect for Scriptures don’t agree what the Bible says about gays, women, hell, and other moral issues. See here.  See here.  See here.  Gays are often condemned, women’s leadership roles are limited despite their gifts, and it is suggested a fiery torturous afterlife awaits infidels in God’s name. Extremists often will advocate killing infidels in this life according to their interpretation of an inspired Book. If we can question if writers always understood God perfectly, we can naturally wonder if God’s actions would ever violate our moral intuitions of a loving God regardless of one’s interpretation.

Moral truths aren’t hidden in a Book

Even the Bible suggests we aren’t morally clueless. We are encouraged to be perfect like God (Mt. 5:48) or follow God’s example (Eph 5:1). Such statements make no sense if presumptuous to imagine what a loving God is like though our moral consciences. See here. Consider a Book’s writer or editor didn’t understand God fully if your interpretation of a passage is contrary to your moral intuition of a loving God. I am of course talking to rational people who understand we ought to treat others like we want to be treated. 

How can we view the Bible?

The Bible can be viewed as God’s story beginning with Israel and culminating with the life of Jesus that we don’t possess in any other document. God didn’t necessarily inspire or approve of everything written about God. When reading the Bible, question and contemplate what a loving God is really like. Imagine if extremists had to consider that God didn’t inspire every word in their Book, and we had to openly discuss what a loving God is like. Interpretations about God’s love toward others, that don’t match how you and most know you ought to love your neighbor, may be amiss. A Book must not replace our relationship with God and common moral sense.

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

Top Posts Of 2023

We Must Rethink The Bible When It Comes To Gays!

Why Can’t We Discuss Our Political, Science, Or Religious Differences?

How Do We Know Our Truth Is The “Truth?

Why Hell Can’t Be True!

All Will End Up In Heaven According To The Bible!

What Does God Care About The Most?

Who The Heck Would Want A Biblical Marriage?

Why Is It So Awkward To Talk About God With Others?

How Do You Know What God Is Telling You To Do?

Do You Feel Guilty Only Praying To God In A Crisis?

What Beliefs Are Required To Gain God’s Favor?

Is a Godless Nation An Immoral Nation?

Consequences Thinking “Everything Happen For A Reason” By A Controlling God!

Why Is One Defensive If Suggested The Bible May Have Errors?

How Can We Know What God Is Like?

How Do We Parent A Child In Faith?

How The Heck Do You Have A Good Marriage?

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

5 Lies About God Turn Many Away From God!

Lies may be too strong a word. I can’t prove with certainty what God’s views are regarding women’s roles, gays, etc. But it is only intuitive that a Creator loves the ways their creations ought to love one another. All rational humans seem to have the same internal moral code – to love others like they want to be loved. The Bible can’t be the definitive word about God because scholars don’t all agree what the Bible claims about God on many moral issues. We also can’t prove God controlled prophets or writers to always understand God perfectly. We can imagine what a loving God is like though our moral consciences. See here.

God does not torture or kill infidels 

We know bad religion when we see it. Any religion that advocates or excuses those, who don’t accept their belief, being killed in this life is evil. Christianity must avoid having any comparisons with such a religion. A loving God can’t possible light infidels on fire and then not letting them die in the afterlife. Christians must reject such a view of Hell. Now, when one meets their Creator and rejects living a loving/godly life, I can see them being allowed to pass on into final death. I wrote that Hell (a place of forever punishment) is doubtful biblically and even morally from a loving God. See here.   See here.

God does not condemn gays for attractions they have no control over

How could a loving God possibly condemn gays when they can no more choose who they are attracted to than straights can? If you are a straight man, don’t you naturally have to fight not looking at naked women than men? Ask gays their battle! Who chooses to be gay when having to hid one’s sexuality because of bigotry and hostility? Even if you believe God inspired every word in the Bible and agrees with all written about God, not all biblical scholars interpret that Bible condemning monogamous gay relationships. See here. I am begging you to not condemn gays because the Bible supposedly does. Please be open to the possibility that you may be wrong. 

God does not believe only men can serve certain roles 

Women suffer violence because some claim the Bible says God wants women submissive to men in ways men are not similarly submissive to women. It doesn’t matter all men don’t take a mile when given an inch. Enough do! Many women can obviously feel disrespected and confused why a supposedly loving God would choose according to gender than gifts in serving in the religious institutes. Men, walk in their shoes if you had certain leadership gifts. Most would agree it is immoral to favor one based on the color of their skin. Intuitively, to favor men over women for particular roles seems sexist. Scholars don’t agree how the Bible should be interpreted on roles for women in the home or church. See here.

God does not exclude infidels from Heaven after death 

One’s religion or rebellion against a certain religion is often based on the family born into whether it is Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, etc. Is God a God of chance? A loving God wouldn’t only let Christians into heaven when the majority of people born into this world died without knowledge of Jesus the Christ. No human or spiritual parent brings children into the world requiring that one’s eternal destination is based on circumstances out of one’s control. Only extremists believe you must adhere to a certain religion in this life or the life to come or be killed. Even the Bible possibly suggests all will eventually end up in Heaven. See here.

God can’t control evil or your suffering

One of the biggest reasons for being an atheist is because of the presence of evil in our world. Some suggest God doesn’t intervene in evil or suffering because all evil eventually leads to good, as if some grand plan by God. Tell that to sexual abuse victims or family members of murdered victims. We must consider that God can’t be all-powerful. Perfect love can’t be controlling. Ask any adult child. Evil and your suffering may be because God cannot intervene single-handedly without being controlling. Such freedom by God is necessary for authentic relationships to develop. Forced love is an oxymoron. God is surely doing all they can to stop suffering with the help of others. The alternative is that God can always stop your suffering and doesn’t, or that God arbitrarily stops other’s sufferings sometimes but not yours. I doubt it! 

How can we stop turning people away from God? 

I believe if we at least stopped claiming certainty in God’s name regarding gays, women’ roles in marriage or in church, or the destiny of those who don’t choose a certain religion in this life are destined to never be with God in the afterlife, we would have more open conversations and reveal more the loving God we believe in. Your interpretation may be wrong, so stay openminded. Christian leaders – show some courage and change your stance. You may not agree with my interpretations, but I will admit my interpretation could be wrong if you will. Don’t claim you have God all figured out according to a Book. Yes, we can claim God hates evil such as physical or sexual abuse, but for example listen to each gay’s story and love them like you would want to be loved if you had the same journey.

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

What Is The Greatest Sin Of All? What All Religions Must Agree About God!

Okay! Murder, physical or sexual abuse, torture, etc. are horrific. But there is another deadly relationship killer that may not be as obvious. I am not fond of the word sin. God obviously hates evil when one has no regrets harming others, but God hates the sin more than the sinner. I doubt God disgustingly refer to us as sinners under their breathe when we regret our actions, when we struggle to change habitual patterns that are not in our best interest. Hardly a day doesn’t go back that I don’t live up to the standard I have set for myself. God only desires what we know we ought to desire for ourselves and others. God simply wants to come along aside to support and encourage.

The greatest sin may be not treating others like you want to be treated 

Previously, I wrote that God’s greatest desire is for us to treat others like we want to be treated. See here.  Jesus was asked what was the most important law by a religious-type (Mark 12:28-34). Religion-keepers try to stay in power by declaring all their rules are God’s rules. Jesus simply said to love God and love others as yourself. Jesus wasn’t claiming God was egotistical, only that loving God is the same as loving others like you want to be loved. Jesus wasn’t saying what hoops to jump through to be loved by God. Jesus was encouraging a lifestyle to pursue with God’s help. 

The sin of certainty may be the greatest way we fail living by the golden rule 

We are all tempted to insist we are right and the other side if wrong. Couples acting this way are headed toward divorce. God-followers and religious leaders seem hell-bent in telling people what they must believe about God according to their understanding and interpretation of the Bible. Politicians seem hell-bent in claiming certainty regarding policies such as climate change and immigration, though there are reasonable arguments on both sides of the aisle. Open-minded uncertainty, rather than supposed certainty, could go a long way to healing our nation and personal relationships. Stop condemning gays or insisting on certain women roles/dress according to your understanding. Imagine if you were gay or a woman and ask how you would want to be treated!

Why are people so damn certain? 

• Christians often claim those who support gay marriages are heretics. They claim their truth because the Bible says so. They fail to understand ancient literature is subject to interpretations and biblical scholars don’t agree that God condemns gays. See here.
• Why do politicians claim certainty other than to gain votes? Covid shots were mandated though there were disagreements in the beginning that the Shots prevented infection and transmission. They didn’t! Politicians may claim certainty to avoid arguing their “truth” to convince others
• Individuals fall in love with certainty. If certain beliefs about God are challenged, what other beliefs they were taught could be wrong? Uncertainty can increase anxiety, but certainty leads to forcing “supposed” truths onto others. 

Uncertainty doesn’t result in lawlessness 

Who doesn’t believe rape is wrong unless a terrorist? Of course, terrorists who rape believe their partner shouldn’t be raped. It is often said we best know God according to “biblical truths.” The truth is contrary biblical interpretations exist for many moral issues. See here. I don’t know any reasonable God or non-God person that doesn’t respect the golden rule in relationships. Certain laws are just common, moral sense. Who doesn’t believe physical or sexual abuse is wrong? Different opinions, such as immigration or climate matters expressed without physical or verbal aggression, can stand side by side as we continually evaluate the most loving approach. Open discussions can steer us away from demanding “supposed truths.”

Changing for the future 

• We must first stop claiming our views are morally superior to those we disagree with unless speaking of universal accepted moral truths
• We must handle differences with physical and emotional civility
• We can begin conversations by looking for areas we agree
• We can discuss differences by defending our reasoning, respecting the opinions of others, and commit to growing in understanding
• In a democratic society, which is better than the rule of those in power, the vote of the majority must be followed until voted on again

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

What Christianity Must Avoid Having In Common With Bad Religions!

I don’t desire to offend anyone’s Religion, only bad beliefs. In this post, I will compare the Muslim’s and Christian’s supposed inspired Book, the Quran or Bible. I am not suggesting all Muslims or Christians share the same interpretations of their Book, but enough of either faith believe their God respectively either condemns Jews or gays. A believer naturally shows devotion and obedience to God by imitating their understanding of God according to the Book they considered inspired by God.

The dangers in assuming a Book is inspired by one’s God 

The Quran and Bible seemingly make controversial statements describing what God is like. The Quran is interpreted by many Muslims that God condemns Jews, even suggesting they are the enemy. See here. The Bible is interpreted by many Christians that God condemns gays by suggesting they will not enter the kingdom of God either here on earth or in the afterlife (I Cor. 6:9). The danger isn’t what a Book might say, but whether one assumes everything written about God is inspired by God. One cannot prove prophets or writers always understood God perfectly. It isn’t presumptuous to imagine what a loving God is like though our moral consciences. See here.

Bad religions assume infidels must be killed according to their God 

Both Books are said to refer to those not of their faith as infidels who must be killed either in this life or the afterlife. Many Muslims interpret the Quran to advise Jews must believe in their God or be killed even in this life. I am not aware those of the Christian faith suggesting such aggressions toward infidels in this life. But many Christians believe those who don’t accept Jesus in this life will enter a fiery, torturous existence in the afterlife. I can see how one might see both threats sharing some commonalities.

Christians must reject Hell for this reason. A God who advocates lighting an infidel on fire and not even allowing it to burn out, either in this life or the life to come, is not a loving God. Christians should reject Hell for biblical and moral reasons. See here.  Christians should reject Hell to avoid any comparisons to any religion that argue for death to infidels in this life or the life to come. Now, when one meets their Creator and rejects living a loving/godly life, I can see them being allowed to pass on into final death. It is just as reasonable, if not more reasonable, to believe a loving God that is able to create will take forever, if necessary, to save everyone from themselves. See here.

What is good religion?

We are free to speculate what a loving God is like, as a Book that may not be inspired and is subject to interpretation cannot be the definitive word on God. It is only intuitive that a Creator loves the ways their creations ought to love one another. God’s nature doesn’t allow giving up on infidels even after their last breath. Even imperfect human parents wouldn’t cut off a child who eventually accepts they must love others like they want to be loved. Go ahead and live like Hell while here on earth! Careful the regrets you, your family, and friends will feel at the end of your life. Careful that our character developed here on earth may make the change process longer and more painful in the life to come. All good religions have in common that we must strive to treat others like you want to be treated or you don’t have a God worth believing in!

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

How Do We Discover God’s Will For Our Life?

Church-goers are familiar with the concern to know God’s will in your life. Outsiders may wonder how can one really know what God is directing one to do. Most don’t claim God speaks to them audible, so can we really know our mental impressions are God’s? Turns out we don’t have to live in fear of making “right decisions” or missing out on God’s will. A loving parent or God wants their children to feel the freedom to pursue their passions with the gifts they possess. Choose the wisest path based on past experiences, current circumstances, and future aspirations.

God can’t advice you how the future will turn out 

God can’t warn you that your marriage is going to end up in divorce. God can’t tell you if your new job is going to be phased out. It is natural to think an all-knowing, powerful God knows future outcomes. But to say God knows the future suggests a predetermined future which makes freedom nonsensical. See here. God joins us relationally in a free, unknown future concerning our decisions. God can’t be hiding the future from us.

But what about those who talk as if God gives them a specific plan? 

Most don’t claim they hear an outer voice but imply they hear more an inner voice concerning God’s will for their life. Such voices cannot be proven to be exactly what God is thinking for your life. Such a voice suggests God knows the future how your decisions will turn out. If such plans fail, did God set you up?  God is striving with us in a free world to make decisions for a better world. Influences in our life don’t have to be audible or certain. My parents aren’t alive, but I am still influenced by them in my decisions. I sense God’s encouragement to continually strive to make the best decisions I know at the time in a free world. Pursuit of a godly life is never in vain!  

Why is God so hidden? 

God may not speak to us demonstratively out of love. Just because earthly parents sometime know and advise what is best for their older child, such advice doesn’t always work out. In fact, overzealousness can lead to feeling controlled, thus rejecting what is best for one’s own good. God’s awing or overwhelming presence may only lead to fearful obligations to obey. The road traveled of learning, reflecting, and not being pressured may best lead to lasting convictions and more meaningful relationships. 

God’s will is for us to be free to love 

God’s will isn’t some hidden plan to discover. God’s plan can’t be a detailed blueprint but a general one to set us free to love. Rational beings know they should love others like they want to be loved. Many decisions aren’t black and white, even for God. Do we speak up about one’s behavior or risk driving them further away? God joins us in considering risks to change the world for better. God’s moral ways are not mysterious or hidden. God seeks only to influence us to do all the good, rather than evil, that we can in all the places we can, at all the times we can, to all the people we can, as long as we can. Jesus prayed God’s will be done on earth as in heaven (Mt. 6:10).

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

What Does God Care About The Most?

We have been told forever it seems that Jesus’ death on the Cross was to spare us from going to Hell to appease God’s anger about our sins. All we have to do is drop to our knees and say a prayer. Biblical scholars with interpretation expertise suggest many explanations about Jesus’ death. See here. Salvation isn’t about a future event but present living. Genuine spiritual or human relationships can’t be built on fear and anger rather than love and grace.

What did Jesus say was the most important?

When Jesus was asked what were the greatest commandments or how to have eternal life, He didn’t talk about a future destiny. He said to start loving God and your neighbor as yourself (Lk.10:25-37; Mt. 22:37-40). God isn’t full of themselves. Loving God inspires loving others to the fullest. Jesus simply commended Zacchaeus for recognizing a journey necessary to avoid personal destruction because of sin. Jesus cared about life here on earth (Lk 19).  Jesus told the woman who had committed adultery: “go now, and leave your life of sin” (John 8). Sin destroys and doesn’t lead to personal happiness in the long-run!

But doesn’t the Bible say fear God?

A survey of the times “fear of God” is encouraged in the Bible suggests fearing God was intended for those who don’t fear evil. God’s anger was against wickedness. God’s anger is simply a side of God’s love to steer one away from personal and worldly destruction. God hates what evil does to us. Human parents warn their children and show disgust for actions leading to destruction of others. God’s love, not their wrath, was center stage in Scriptures (I John 4:8).

God cares the most about doing good not evil 

Dennis Prager  argues in the Bible God cares the most how you treat others. Are you going to do good or evil in your relationships? He illustrates how this was God’s greatest desire from the beginning. Only in the Bible’s story did God destroy mankind because people were evil. According to the contemporaneous ancient Near East Babylonian story, the Epic of Gilgamesh, the gods destroyed humanity (except for a man named Utnapishtim) because humans made so much noise they kept the gods awake. Many other passages illustrate God cares the most about doing good.

How can we do the most good?

Most understand the importance of treating others like you want to be treated. When others mess up, you want them to at least admit their wrongs and make amends. Easier said than done. Surely a loving God seeks to influence and encourage us to pursue heavenly than worldly ways here on earth. God seeks to empower us to be the unselfish people we deep down desire to be. Jesus sought to inspire us to seek God’s help in loving others for the good of the world. Godly living is what leads to true happiness. God is dying to help you and others have fewer relational regrets by living a meaningful life.

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

Does Prophecy In The Bible Really Predict The Future?

Many claim dogmatically that the Bible predicts future events such as what is happening in Israel currently and the end-times when Jesus returns down to earth. I am no biblical scholar, but many who makes such claims fail to recognize that biblical experts don’t agree on the meaning of many passages that may or may not relate to future events. We all must admit there is no consensus of beliefs about prophecies in the Bible. I trust more those who admit their interpretation of ancient literature (Bible) could be wrong.

Why our views on prophecy matter!

It is hard for people to take God seriously if future events supposedly made according to the Bible keep not coming true. Secondly, prophecies that aren’t conditional on how people respond to God assumes God doesn’t respect the freedom to change. God didn’t force anyone to kill Jesus. They could have accepted Jesus’ message. Finally, believing the world is coming to an end and somehow God is going to rescue you in the sky can lead to passivity. We mustn’t wait on God to “fix” things by coming again. We must do all we can for the next generation!

Prophecies may only be warning about future possibilities 

I have written here why God can’t know the future, thus prophecies aren’t likely claiming what definitely will happen in the future. One can assume most prophecies are conditional because God changes if people will repent of their evil ways. God’s nature requires most prophecies predicated on human actions being conditional. For example, in the Old Testament Jonah advised Ninevah they would be destroyed in 40 days, but then God relented because the Ninevites turn from their evil ways. Admittedly, some prophecies many suggest what God intends to do that doesn’t impact human freedom – God can promise an afterlife after death.

In the New Testament Jesus predicted Peter would deny Him three times but Jesus also prayed Peter’s faith would not fail (Lk. 22: 32-34). Predictions stated to be from God can be conditional. A professor may observe a student and warn they will fail their class but hoping the student avoids such failure. Keep in mind the future is not totally unpredictable for humans much less God. A skilled physician can predict the death of a seemingly healthy individual because of symptoms that escape the untrained eye. Remember, God’s Spirit is present everywhere, thus God’s knowledge is unimaginably extensive.  

What about OT predictions about Jesus the Messiah?

The most talked about prophecies in the Old Testament (OT) is the forthcoming of the Messiah Jesus and their subsequent death. But Jesus prayed to God that He might be spared of dying on the Cross (Mt. 26:39). Such a prayer seems meaningless unless Jesus’ life could have been spared. God changes their mind if people change. Psalm 22 is said to predict Jesus’ life and crucifixion. These passages could also be referring to sufferings known by the writer in OT times such as King David. NT writers can use past historical passages to illustrate Jesus’ current life and crucifixion.

What about “end times” mentioned in the Bible? 

There is much talk of biblical prophecies coming to pass because of what is going on between Israel and Hamas. Is God coming again (rapture/tribulation/Armageddon) to destroy this world as we know it and set up God’s reign? There is some biblical evidence that the end times mentioned refer to what happened in the first century, thus having been fulfilled:

• If the Bible teaches God is coming again to destroy the world in the future, why did Jesus tell his audience that supposed predictions about the world ending (maybe not a physical ending) would happen in their lifetime: “Truly I tell you, this generation will certainly not pass way until all these things have happened” (Mt. 24:34)?” Jesus said to his audience when asked about the last days: “watch out that no one deceives you….you will hear of wars and rumors of war (Mt. 24:4-6). Why would Jesus use such language if the world was going to end 2000 years and counting?
• The Apostle Paul assured his audience they have not missed the “day of the Lord” (2 Thess. 2:1-12). Why was Paul’s audience fearful they could miss the coming of Jesus if such a coming is supposedly a rapture-removing, visible, world-ending coming? Only a non-visible, spiritual coming of Jesus could possibly be missed. The disciples did not think of Jesus’ coming as being visible as they ask: “what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age” (Mt. 24:3). Besides, Peter writes to his readers in the first century that “the end of all things is at hand” (1 Pe. 4:7).

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

How The Bible And The Quran Can Be Dangerous!

Both Books make controversial statements contributed to God. Many interpret the Quran claiming Jews are not only infidels but enemies. See here.  The Bible supposedly says gays will not inherit the kingdom of God (I Cor. 6:9). I am not suggesting all Muslims or Christians interpret their Book the same, but many assume God (Allah) condemn Jews or gays because their inspired Book does. Most don’t acknowledge their interpretation could be wrong. The greater danger may be many don’t question if words recorded are really inspired by God. This leads to interpretation, right or wrong, overruling moral sense. Did writers always understand God perfectly? 

When one assumes a Book is inspired by God (Allah)

When believing something is inspired by God or Allah, one naturally assumes anything written is approved by God. An exception would be if the writer claims they are speaking for themselves and not necessarily representing God’s thoughts. If God is interpreted to condemn Jews or gays in a Book, a believer naturally shows devotion and obedience to God by imitating God. Keep in mind one can’t prove a Book is inspired – that God controlled the thought or writings – other than accepting a writer’s claim they were inspired by God. I am convinced it is best to assume a writer’s words may not be inspired by God.

The slippery slope toward assuming interpretations are inspired

I am more familiar with the Bible, so I will offer an example that I believe is relevant for our discussion. I don’t believe God is opposed to women priests or preachers. I don’t believe God condemns gays. Biblical scholars agree with me, some don’t. See here. See here.  All literature, even if inspired, requires interpretation. It is rarely admitted one’s interpretation may be wrong or that the biblical writers may not have always understood God perfectly. I admit both. We avoid the slippery slope toward supposed inspired interpretations by accepting the Bible may be fallible.

How can we know God then?

A Book cannot be the sole determinate of what God is like since the same passages are subject to different interpretations. Also, the majority of people born in this world did not have a copy of the Bible. We are left to wonder how a Perfect God, the only God worth believing in, truly loves. It is only intuitive that a Creator loves the ways their creations ought to love one another. We all seem to know the question we ought to ask ourselves – am I loving others perfectly? Or am I loving others like I want to be loved. It isn’t presumptuous to imagine what a loving God is like though our moral consciences. See here.

How should we act toward others in the name of God?

A loving God surely desires to inspire and encourage you to become the person deep down you want to become. Consider a Book’s writer or editor didn’t understand God fully if your interpretation of a text is contrary to your moral intuition of a loving God. No reasonable human being doesn’t respect the universal compulsion to treat others like we want to be treated. Moral truths aren’t hidden in any Book. Obviously, sexual abuse is immoral is obviously to most rational people. We must have open discussions which actions best imitate a loving God for the greater good of all.

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

How The Heck Do You Have A Good Marriage?

This is a previous Post. I thought I would repost with some minor changes, to follow up my Post last week – How The Heck Do You Parent Well?

I’m no expert but one who is anxious for others to avoid my failures. I can assure you my marriage hasn’t lasted 41 years so far because I am some saint. Divorce can happen and doesn’t doom one as a failure for life. Relationships aren’t that complicated, just hard. Many marriages can succeed when both partners adhere to a few essential attitudes and actions to better relate. I am going to keep this less than a five-minute read to hopefully provoke more readings about marriage here or elsewhere if struggling. Success isn’t an exact path. We all have a chance if strive to treat our partner like a best friend!

The Right Attitude – Accepting Differences 

Good luck finding a partner that always agree. Marriage is about living happily incompatible. There are no perfect matches. Relationships often start off well because reality hasn’t set in – sharing closets, bathrooms, in-laws, children, etc. You still have in common why you began the relationship, but now you have to work out your differences. Other friendships don’t have the 24/7 challenges. Naively, I assumed in the beginning I would be happily married 100% of the time. Now, I realize being pleased 75% of the time is a pretty good marriage. Strive to treat your partner like you want to be treated when not agreeing. Marriage isn’t agreeing but learning to disagree. 

The Right Actions – Fighting Fair 

After accepting we don’t have a right to expect everything we desire, we still must solve differences to live peacefully together. When handling differences in other relationships it usually is out in public with others around eyeballing your actions. In a 24/7 relationship differences can happen more in private. There is less accountability to behave. Kids, we know the rules in solving differences – keep your hands to yourself, don’t raise your voice, stop interrupting, etc. When such rules are violated, give each other permission to stop and restart when acting more civilly. Couples who say they are no longer in love have stopped treating each other in loving ways. Happy couples expect problems and solve differences in a positive manner so solutions can be discovered. 

Identify A Specific Plan And Persist 

As you strive for the right attitude and actions – develop specific steps each can take, evaluate success in a time limited fashion, and do it all over again. Keep trying until finding what works. Judge the relationship not on feelings that depend on circumstance but judge the relationship on specific actions that can bring about desired feelings.  Couples often give up too soon because they attempt a “hit and miss” approach to their problems. Couples often argue, “they have tried everything.” Develop your own list of habits such as below:

• During conflict both ideally ask “what can I do differently” not “why can’t you”
• Assume good will of you partner unless you married the devil
• Focus on solutions than problems
• Persist unless one partner is being abusive
• Run from temptations such as drugs or affairs that can set you up for failure
• Get third party help after remaining stuck
• Try doing what you would tell your friend if they asked for advise
• Identify 2 or 1 thing you wish each would do differently once a day that is observable and you can acknowledge genuine appreciation when it happens
• Focus on you being the right person rather than your partner
• Happy couples’ ratio of encouraging than criticizing is at least 6:1

Spiritual help can be invaluable in marriage

Maybe you are just a good person without any help. Personally, I need help being the best version of myself for the sake of my partner. I need to be willing to say sorry. I need to recognize I am being selfish. I need to be willing to forgive when my partner takes responsibility for their actions. Great marriages aren’t about being good enough or not as bad as other partners. The best goal of marriage or any relationship is aiming for perfection. My view of God inspires me to pursue perfection in my relationships without being paralyzed by guilt when failing. I have the “want to” to be perfect. I believe that motivation comes from God!

John and Julie Gottman, who have researched marriage relationships for years to identify important factors that lead to success, state something so true: “Every marriage has perpetual issues – conflicts based on personality differences or lifestyle differences that never go away. Common examples include how much intimacy there should be in a marriage, as well as disagreements over money and household chores. But as longtime marriage therapists, we’ve found that partners can live peacefully with perpetual issues as long as they talk about them in a open, productive way.”

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