Many, because of their understanding of the Bible, will respond with some version of “I love you; I hate your sin.” This is not a phrase found in the Bible. One is hard pressed to find anywhere in the Bible where this is a recommended strategy in relationships whether the Bible clearly condemn a behavior or not. It is impossible to not feel personally attacked when one utters “I love you but I hate your sin.” What is heard is I don’t love you.
Please don’t reject a gay child in God’s name!
Some parents condemn their child because the Bible supposedly does. Not all agree. See here. When there are any doubts what the Bible might be advising, God-followers must take the most compassionate, less judgmental stance toward others. Many parents know in their hearts to not judge their child but they are torn when hearing others claim the Bible condemns homosexuality. It is impossible to not feel unloved and rejected when told “I love you but I hate your sin.”
Why do we treat gays differently from other supposed sinners whatever you believe?
Many refer to Paul’s list of sins to call out homosexuality but they fail to call out the greedy and slanderers (I Cor. 6: 9-10). Unless you are homeless chances are you have been greedy more than once this week. How is it not greedy to keep more than you need and make sure those struck by natural disasters or other tragedies have the rest? Remind me to not say when I see you “I love you, but I hate your selfish behaviors.”
But some actions are really harmful
It can be argued that hating alcoholic behavior is loving because alcohol abuse is harmful. Hating homosexual sex is only loving if homosexual sex is sinful. But do we tell a drug abuser that we love them but hate their behaviors? You don’t tell anyone coming for help with their addiction that you love them but hate their behavior. You simply say I love you and let’s do this together. They probably already hate their own behaviors. When someone is overweight, which is a lot of us, should we say “I love you but I hate you are fat?”
So, what do we stand for!
When people are involved in uncommitted sexual relationships and I am asked, I don’t say I love you but hate your behaviors. If they want, I have a conversation about whether their actions will end up hurting them or others in the future. I can still believe in the importance of committed, monogamous relationships. That is why adultery is wrong. That is why it is selfish to be involved in more than one sexual relationship especially if the other persons are unaware. I have no problem taking a stand against behaviors that I think are harming others. I do though try to remember I am involved in such behaviors daily. Just love on those seeking your support and avoid cliches.
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What God May Really Be Like - Misbeliefs About God 