What God May Really Be Like – Misbeliefs About God

Why Is It Important To Consider Bible Not Inspired?

Most hearing claims that God inspired the Bible assume all characterizations in the Bible about God are true. They assume inspiration means God approved all recorded by the writers. They don’t think of inspiration as meaning that God encouraged or motivated writers/editors to record their history with God, thus possible being right or wrong.  I felt inspired to write this Post about God. That doesn’t mean all I claim about God is necessarily true. I would suggest biblical writers were motivated to record their assumptions about God – possible right or wrong. We can’t prove God controlled the thoughts and pens of the writers. When we don’t assume God inspired the Bible, we are more likely to question if the writers’ assumption about God are right.

Our interpretation can give the wrong image of God, thus turning others away from God 

Ancient literature subject to interpretation cannot be the definitive word on truth. Biblical scholars who have a deep respect for Scriptures don’t agree what the Bible says about gays, women, hell, and other moral issues. It is seldom acknowledged our interpretations could be wrong. Gays are often condemned, women’s leadership roles are limited despite their gifts, and infidels face a torturous afterlife – all declared to be true in God’s name. People often reject God because of such claims made about God. When we don’t assume God inspired the Bible, interpretations are more likely to become discussions rather than definitive declarations about God. 

We quit using our moral intuitions, therefore possible trusting wrong interpretations

Many who claim that God inspired all written in the Bible to be true about God suggests we are made in God’s image. (Gen 1:27) If God is good, this suggests God created us with an inborn sense of good and evil. Self-evident rights aren’t hidden in the Bible or any Book. Even the Bible suggests we aren’t morally clueless. We are encouraged to be perfect like God (Mt. 5:48) or follow God’s example. (Eph 5:1) Interpretations about God’s love that don’t match how most know you ought to love your neighbor may be amiss. When we don’t assume God inspired the Bible, we are more likely to use common moral sense when interpreting the Bible.  

An inspired Bible can “inspire” violence

Many interpret the Quran or the Bible advocating killing Jews or condemning gays respectively, because Allah or God supposedly approves such actions. Most, especially extremists, don’t acknowledge their interpretation could be wrong. God supposedly orders Israel to commit hundreds of atrocities in the OT – “… put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys” (I Sam. 15:3). God’s possible justification of violence can lead to imitation of violent solutions such as capital punishment, blowing up abortion clinics, or unnecessary wars in the name of God. 

The Bible still can inspire useful thinking about God. 

Our relationship with God should be our focus, not the Bible. The Bible is God’s story beginning with Israel and culminating with the life of Jesus that we don’t possess in other documents. God may have inspired/encouraged the writers to write but didn’t necessarily approve of everything written about God. When reading the Bible, contemplate what a loving God is really like. Enjoy what God is trying to reveal to you about your Creator and how to treat others. A Book must not replace our relationship with God and common moral sense. Questioning the Bible may lead to knowing God better!

Click on FOLLOW button on this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

How Do We Know What Is True According To God Or Whoever?

Truth is often declared because the Bible says so or because it feels true. It is important what we decide is truth. Laws are often made according to what is right or wrong. Debate or the pursuit of truth is often prohibited because one is labeled a mis-informer, conspiracist, or heretic.  Those who censor or label others mis-informers assume they know the truth, but often they are discovered to be wrong later. It is important how we go about the pursuit of truth.     

Truth isn’t based on a supposed Divine inspired Book 

Ancient literature subject to interpretation cannot be the definitive word on truth. Even if the writers understood their God perfectly, which we can’t prove, we can’t claim our interpretations are perfect. The truth is biblical scholars who have a deep respect for the Bible don’t agree what God thinks about gays, women, hell, and other moral issues. See here. See here. See here.  Gays are often condemned and women’s leadership roles are limited, despite their gifts, in God’s name. It is suggested a fiery torturous afterlife awaits infidels. How do we go about determining what is true about God? Surely, perfect Godly and human love must be the same if a Creator’s exist. One’s interpretation (possibly wrong) of a supposed inspired Book isn’t always the Gospel!

Trust isn’t necessarily based on what “experts” claim

It has been declared in the past that the Covid vaccines prevented infection and transmission of the disease. That was the purpose of mandates. Scientists and doctors who declared otherwise were censored, but it turns out that weren’t the mis-informers. Those who claimed masks didn’t prevent the spread of a virus were called mis-informers. Turns out a review that dug into findings of 78 randomized controlled trials discovered wearing masks made little or no difference in stopping the virus. See here.  Lots of my friends who wore masks got Covid. Even during a pandemic, we must be open what we can’t be certain about.  “Undebated science/censored ” isn’t science. 

Truth isn’t based just on feelings as certain truths are obvious to all

One may argue truth isn’t objective. I understand why one may take such a stance. Since their opponent often claims they know the truth and then proceed to lord that opinion over others because they supposedly stand on higher moral (biblical) grounds. But I don’t think we can afford to suggest there aren’t objective truths. If truth is determined just on feelings, a murderer or sexual predator could claim innocence because they felt their actions were justified. Laws aren’t possible if there aren’t differences between good and evil such as rape, physical abuse, etc. Some truth is self-evident.

We must avoid claiming our truth is certain if not universal agreement

There are surely self-evident rights with almost universal agreement, but they aren’t hidden in the Bible or any Book. Some Holy Books condemn or justify the killing of gays based on one’s interpretation being correct because their God inspired words written down. I would argue consensual same-gender sexual relationships are justified because some can’t explain their attraction to the same gender any more than straights can explain their attraction to the opposite gender. Certainty is an enemy when debate is not allowed by censoring the freedom of others to speak their opinions. We may not always know what perfect love is, but we somehow know we ought to love others like we want to be loved. We must allow a debate what perfect love is.

We don’t always know what is truth, so it is important how we openly purse truth

• If only religious leaders didn’t always claim their biblical interpretation is correct and at least acknowledge literature requires interpretation despite supposed divine intervention. What are religious leaders afraid of if they have the truth?
• If we listened to everyone’s opinion civilly and sought to discern together what was the most loving action according to the circumstances
• If we closely guarded one’s freedom to choose when the possibility exist you could be wrong, rather than calling others heretics or conspiracists

How Do We Determine What Is Moral? No, It Isn’t According To The Bible!

Morality isn’t determined or depend on one’s Holy Book

Christians often claim that determining morality must have a source such as the Bible or then only based on subjective feelings. What about before the Bible existed or those that don’t revere the Bible – are they clueless about morality? Morality can’t be whatever an individual feels or there could be no laws such as murder, or a murderer could claim they felt their actions moral. I will discuss first why one’s Holy Book cannot be the definitive source for determining morality from immorality. I will conclude how then can we go about determining what is moral, though we can’t always claim certainty such as if capital punishment is the more moral stance.

We can’t prove the Bible is divinely inspired by God

Christians leaders often argue that the entire Bible is divinely inspired by God. Since they believe God is perfectly moral, the Bible then is their basis for morality. It must be claimed the Bible is entirely divinely inspired, or humans can only guess what passages are inspired. The biggest proof often given to suggest God inspired perfect morality written down is because the Bible makes such claims (i.e. 2 Tim 2:16). But a Book isn’t proven to be inspired because it claims to be inspired. Those who claim God inspired the Bible don’t accept the Koran to be divinely inspired if claimed.

Even if the Bible is inspired by God, our interpretation aren’t divinely inspired 

Even if we could prove the writers of the Bible always understood God perfectly, our interpretations may not be inspired. Biblical scholars who have a deep respect for Scriptures don’t agree what God thinks about many moral issues such as hell, gays, or women’ roles. Gays are often condemned, women’s leadership roles are limited despite their gifts, and it is suggested a fiery torturous afterlife awaits infidels – all in God’s name. Extremists often will advocate killing infidels in this life because their Holy Book is inspired by God and their interpretation is right.

Why don’t we want to use the Bible as the determinate of morality?

A supposed divinely inspired Bible, without admitting one’s interpretation could be wrong, causes many relational atrocities. The Bible in the past has been used to defend slavery. It is claimed God condemn gays. Many may be unaware biblical scholars who respect the Bible don’t believe Scriptures condemn gay monogamous relationships. See here. Many parents feel obligated to condemn their gay children in the name of God. I am begging Christian leaders to stop condemning gays because the Bible supposedly does. Admit you could be wrong. Stop with nonsense “hate the sin, love the person.” You don’t know being gay is a sin. Besides, it is impossible to feel loved and accepted when such words are used. Why would anyone choose to be gay based on the condemnation and bigotry they face?

Churches today still deny women using their spiritual gifts by preventing them from serving in the church. The Bible could easily be interpreted to suggest God suggests roles based on gifts not gender. See here. Maybe even worse, submission is often interpreted in marriage to imply when there is an impasse, someone (guess who) must make the final decision. I have never had a marriage issue in 42 years that can’t be solved creatively together. Men in authority over women can encourage dominance on the man’s part, which can be conducive for domestic abuse and the other atrocities women face at the hands of men. Women need men with the heart of a servant!! (Eph. 5:28-29) If we at least stopped claiming certainty in God’s name regarding gays or women’ roles, according to the Bible, it would reveal more the loving God we believe in.

How do we determine what is truly moral? 

Over half the world born into this world didn’t have a Bible. Were they morally clueless?

Most who believe the Bible is divinely inspired though not admitting interpretation challenges, would suggest a Creator has endowed his creations to know good from evil. We can intuitively know how our Creator loves – the same way we were created/born to love one another. We don’t have perfect knowledge but most understand the question we ought to ask ourselves and others – am I loving others perfectly? Or am I loving others like I want to be loved. This intuition is why rational human beings believe murder and sexual or physical abuse is immoral, unless you believe an assumed divinely inspired Holy Book advocates such actions.

Only extremists deny there is objective truth except for their claim “there is no objective truth.”

Morality is rooted in human nature, rather than just a product of religious influences. Biblical interpretations that go against our moral intuitions may be wrong. Why would God create you to intuitively feel different. Moral and immoral decisions begin with discussing what is common, often universal, moral sense. This applies to religious decisions, legal decisions when making laws, or even political issues such as immigration or climate change. We don’t always know what perfect love is, but we should be all asking together – “What leads to the greater good?”

Click on FOLLOW button on this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

Top Posts Of 2024

12 Reasons To Believe Hell Is A Myth!

What Is God’s Plan For Your Life?

Why Do People Leave The Church Building But Not God?

Why Do Many Deconstruct Or Deconvert From God?

Are Biblical Stories Helpful Or Harmful To Children?

God Is Exactly Like Who You Think!

9 Reasons To Not Trust The Bible’s Claims About God!

Why Don’t We Want To Call Ourselves A Christian Nation (Christian Nationalism)?

Can And Does God Control Your Suffering?

Did You Know The Bible Says Nothing About Marriage?

Did A Miracle Save Trump?

How Do You Decide What God Is Really Like?

Who Should We Vote For?

Is The Bible Really The Word Of God?

Who Goes To Heaven?

How Do You Not Turn A Child Away From God?

What Are Harmful Lies About God?

Click on FOLLOW button on this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

Getting Saved Isn’t About Going to Heaven or Hell!

I wrote recently here  what might be the greatest misunderstanding about God and getting saved. Christians often emphasize the main message about God and the Bible is avoiding hell and getting to heaven by saying the sinner’s prayer: “God, forgive me for my sins and thank you for dying on the Cross to pay the price for my wrongdoing.” No such prayer is found in the Bible. Recently, I failed to include the greatest objection below to what I am claiming – that the Apostle Paul, who wrote a lot of the New Testament, supposedly spoke of something similar to the sinner’s prayer. It is important because we may be misrepresenting God’s main message to us.

The main message can’t be about avoiding Hell 

I bet if you ask most non-church people what church people say is important about the Christian faith, they will talk about getting saved to go to heaven to avoid hell. The main message can’t be about Hell which doesn’t literally exist. See 12 Reasons To Believe Hell Is A Myth! There is no word in Hebrew or Greek for “hell,” only possibly words used as metaphors to illustrate that spiritual death is as tragic as physical death. The Apostle Paul who wrote most of the NT never refers to Hell. No prophet in the OT warned of Hell as a consequence for behaviors here on earth.

What did Jesus say about eternal life? 

Jesus never spoke of something similar to the sinner’s prayer to make others feel secure about the afterlife. True, he couldn’t talk about the purpose of the Cross since hadn’t happen, but Jesus message seem to be more about the here and now, not trying to terrify you about the afterlife. When Jesus was asked how to have eternal life, Jesus didn’t speak about a physical destiny but life here on earth. (Lk.10:25-37) Jesus simply answered the question “love God and your neighbor,” speaking more about the quality than quantity of life. Jesus elsewhere defined eternal life as beginning in the here and now (Jn 17:3), not what awaited in the afterlife.

When Jesus met his disciples, he only said “follow me.” (Mark 1: 16:17, 2:14) A set of beliefs wasn’t required. The main message to the disciples was living a life worth living. When asked what was the greatest commandments, Jesus only said to love God and your neighbors (Mark 12:30-31). What! Not drop to your knees, pray, and ask for forgiveness! Jesus encouraged loving God because Jesus knew that leads to loving others.  The above interactions are like when Jesus dealt with the women caught in adultery. (Jn. 7:53-8:11) Jesus only encouraged the woman to go and sin no more. He might never see her again. Where was Jesus evangelical spiel?

Didn’t Paul though preach repent to avoid punishment?

It is argued that Paul did say “believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Rm 10:9) Paul recognized Jesus’ death and resurrection, but Jesus’ sacrifice was to draw attention to the Good News already proclaimed by Paul – God’s desire to empower unselfish living. Paul preached about the Kingdom of God being here (Acts). Paul did say “the wages of sin is death.” (Rm. 6:23) But Paul is speaking of spiritual death because Paul is still alive though sin has put him to death. (Rm. 7:11) Paul mentions Heaven twice in Romans, yet says nothing about Jesus dying so we can go to Heaven (Rm. 1:18, 10:6).

God wasn’t so pissed to require Jesus’ death than yours

To insist God required Jesus be murdered on the Cross in place of you isn’t Godly or parental love. Google “theological views of Jesus’ death” for many interpretations about Jesus’ death. Did Jesus and the Romans have no choice but to murder Jesus for an unjust cause? Soldiers die for one another because of a cause they believe in. Jesus thought his message was worth dying for. Jesus accepting death than powering over others may be the reason billions have been influenced to live unselfishly. Jesus wanted to change our attitude about God, not to change God’s attitude toward us. What kind of God sees how the world has turned out and doesn’t just say the Hell with it, but instead enters such a world to experience underserved suffering via the Cross to inspire and relate? 

What really is God’s salvation?

Jesus spoke of a life, worth living, empowered by God, for your good and those you have relationships with. I believe Jesus spoke of loving God not to get into heaven but to receive help in loving others as deep down you wish you could. I get help from God in pursuing a life with less regrets, of being the husband, father, friend, and man I truly want to be. It’s on God to come through for you if you choose to follow. Jesus when leaving this earth spoke of having God’s spirit within us. God’s influence, though invisible, can be the same as a parent who has left this earth that you believed loved you to the fullest. The Bible/Jesus/God’s message isn’t dropping to your knees to avoid Hell to go to Heaven after death, but start loving now with God’s help – a path toward great relationships. 

Click on FOLLOW button on this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com

What One Lie About God May Be The Most Harmful?

I wrote recently 13 Lies according to one’s understanding of the Bible that I believe do the most harm to God’s reputation, thus turning many away from God. The problem isn’t the Bible but one’s view of the Bible. When one believes God inspired/approved all written about God in the Bible, they assume the biblical writers always portrayed God accurately. Furthermore, many go a step further and assume their interpretation is the right one, but ancient literature is always subject to interpretation.

Unbelievers, women, and gays

There is no doubt the following lies have impacted millions if not billions over history – that God created a forever, torturous hell for beliefs held for a brief time while living on earth, that God is bias thinking women can’t serve in religious or marriages roles that men can, that God condemns gays for an attraction choice they no more control than do straights. Many have rejected God based on claims made about hell, women, or gays. See 13 Lies

What may be the most harmful lie about God according to the Bible? 

It is often claimed and assumed that God’s main message according to the Bible is that salvation is about going to Heaven or Hell rather than how to live life here on earth. The main message can’t be about Hell which doesn’t literally exist. There is no word in Hebrew or Greek for “hell,” only possibly words used as metaphors to illustrate that spiritual death is as tragic as physical death. Even when Jesus was asked how to have eternal life, Jesus didn’t speak about a physical destiny but life here on earth. (Lk.10:25-37) Jesus simply answered the question “love God and your neighbor,” speaking more about the quality than quantity of life. God cares more about you here and now, not trying to terrify you about the afterlife if you don’t believe.

God is so pissed to require your death isn’t the main message about the Cross

To insist God required Jesus be murdered on the Cross in place of you isn’t Godly or parental love. Google “theological views of Jesus’ death” for many interpretations about Jesus’ death. Did Jesus and the Romans have no choice but to murder Jesus for an unjust cause? Soldiers die for one another because of a cause they believe in. Jesus thought his message was worth dying for. Jesus accepting death than powering over others may be the reason billions have been influenced to live unselfishly. Jesus wanted to change our attitude about God, not to change God’s attitude toward us. What kind of God sees how the world has turned out and doesn’t just say the Hell with it, but instead enters such a world to experience underserved suffering via the Cross to inspire and relate? 

What really is God’s salvation?

Jesus spoke of a life, worth living, empowered by God, for your good and those you have relationships with. I believe Jesus spoke of loving God not to get into heaven but to receive help in loving others as you wish you could deep down. I get help from God in pursuing a life with less regrets, of being the husband, father, friend, and man I truly want to be. It’s on God to come through for you if you choose to follow. Jesus when leaving this earth spoke of having God’s spirit within us. God’s influence, though invisible, can be the same as a parent who has left this earth that you believed loved you to the fullest.

Click on FOLLOW button on this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com

What Humanly Is The Hardest Thing To Do?

Gad Saad writes that one willingness to change their mind may be the biggest challenge that people face. Why is changing our mind so hard, and how do we pursue being more openminded? I can still remember decades ago my son coming home from school and declaring evolution was a viable belief. I passionately denied based on my understanding of the Bible and Genesis. I have since admitted to him I could be wrong. It took a while for me to be more open-minded.

The Bible can be the problem for many Christians 

The Bible can’t be the definitive word about God since subject to interpretation (different scholarly views of the same passages). Besides, we can’t prove God controlled if the writers always accurately portrayed God, even if our interpretations were perfect. Biblical scholars who have a deep respect for the Bible don’t agree what God thinks about gays, women, hell, and other moral issues. Gays are condemned and women’s leadership roles are limited, despite their gifts, in God’s name. Supposedly, a fiery torturous afterlife awaits infidels! A Creator surely loves the way creatures intuitively think they ought to love. We pursue such love through common moral sense. 

Questioning one’s beliefs can be painful 

For one to question a main belief they have been taught in church all their life, such as if Hell is real, can create doubts about other beliefs they have been taught.  Perceived certainty rather than uncertainty is more comforting psychologically. Unknowing can create confusion or anxiety. Anxiety is avoided by not discussing one’s beliefs with others who believe differently. 

We tend to think with our emotions rather than exploring evidence 

We often don’t change our mind because we make decisions based on our feelings than cognitions. Should we make buying decisions based on if we want it as opposed to whether we can afford it? Should we date or marry someone based only on feelings or based on their actions? In our recent election, many voted based on there feelings about a particular candidate. Without specific evidence one is Hitler incarnated or truly a Communist, I am convinced a wiser choice is to vote based on policies/cognitions I believe best for the future of my children, grandchildren, and country.

We often don’t change our mind because we avoid contrarian discussion

We often avoid discussions with those with different opinions for various reasons. The problem is the path to change often is considering opposing beliefs. It isn’t science without debate. Theologians who claim their views are God’s Word and don’t invite debate – are they afraid to defend their views in public so individuals can decide for themselves and possibly disagree. Theologians who hide behind “God said,” are claiming to be holier than those than disagree with them. Politicians who don’t invite debate – don’t trust them further than you can throw them.

Changing one’s mind requires admitting you were wrong 

Changing one’s mind in public requires humility. I am not claiming to be innocent, just stating the obvious. I trust more those who openly acknowledge when they were wrong. Trust religious leaders, politicians, or scientists who openly admit they were wrong and explain why they believed as they did initially. Many remain silent and hope you don’t notice their change in opinion.

Changing one’s mind can have consequences

Disagreeing with church leadership about God’s character can lead to isolation or being blacklisted. Thriving societies must support individuals being allowed to form their own opinions without threats when universal agreement isn’t obvious. Groupthink is just human nature. Most humans desire to integrate with a group, get along with its members, and benefit from them. Discussing opposing beliefs can be uncomfortable. The loner must fend for himself. If you leave your group, your options are limited to joining the opposing group or being alone. For most of us, neither option is appealing. Being your own person is a tough business. 

Changing one mind means embracing uncertainty 

Certainty is an illusion unless talking about universal moral sins such as rape or incest. Adultery isn’t only wrong in the eyes of the betrayer. Assume uncertainty if you have one rational friend who believes differently from you whether it’s about religion or politics. Those who claim certainty often are naïve and may have other internal motives. Most decisions are not black and white and require open debate. Couples who claim certainty are headed toward divorce or a sucky relationship. God-followers and religious leaders seem hell-bent in telling people what they must believe about God according to their understanding and interpretation of the Bible. Politicians who refuse debate of their policies are no different. Leaders play God (Superior) in the lives of others by claiming to know the truth and we can’t decide for ourselves. 

Civil discussions are critical in the pursuit of truth 

Obviously, we may also avoid disagreements because such discussions can get heated. We must control our emotions when discussing our beliefs. We must talk to others like we want to be talked to. We must stop labelling others. We often are quick to consider or call others heretics or conspiracists when differing in religion or politics. How about thinking one has a different opinion than resorting to name calling!

• We must stop thinking our views are morally superior to those we disagree with unless speaking of universal accepted moral truths
• We must handle differences with physical and emotional civility, accepting that misinformation isn’t opinions that don’t agree with our own
• We can begin conversations by looking for areas we agree
• We can defend our reasoning, respect the opinions of others, and commit to pursuit of truth

Click on FOLLOW button on this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com

What One Insight May Help Your Marriage The Most?

If I were to ask you if life is hard or easy, most of you would probably say hard at times. Few would deny that challenges arise from time to time. This same insight could help your marriage get off to a good start or perhaps help you dig you way out of a mess. Now sometimes, your partner is a mess and refuses to step up to the challenge! Just make sure you aren’t the mess. All to say, marriage is hard sometimes and hard work is required to get back on track.

My personal naiveness 

Young couples – I doubt most of you were as naïve as I was in the beginning of my marriage. I assume agreement on our differences would quickly evaporate because of our love for one another. Heck, I probably assumed we wouldn’t have any differences. I suppose because dating went so well was part of my challenge. But I ended up pursuing counseling as a career because of the marriage struggles I noticed my parents had. Yet, I guess I assumed I was totally different. I went for some premarital counseling, but I have always been hard of hearing. The truth is beginning to share things including closets, children, and in-laws, and that each individual brings their own baggage into the relationship, creates challenges. 

What is a critical attitude when marriage gets hard 

Many of us start off saying our partner is our best friend, but we don’t always act like that. Happily married couples behave like good friends, abiding by the golden rule. If both partners act consistently like they wish to be treated, characterized by respect, affection, and empathy, marriages are good. Regardless, there are challenges in 7 days-a-week relationships unlike in other friendships where you don’t share as much. When the relationship is struggling, often it will be because one is not living out the golden rule. Start by changing yourself rather than trying to change your partner. Are you treating your partner as you wish to be treated? 

What is a critical skill when marriage gets hard 

Watch expectations. Great relationships have differences. It is how you handle them that is critical. One who begins a relationship knowing that he/she does not have a right to expect everything he/she desires sets himself/herself up for success. Living happily incompatibly is the goal. Discuss and solve differences in a calm manner, as best friends do, so solutions can be discovered. It is better to try again later than let anger fly. Respond not react to differences. Do you have anger rules and agree to stop the discussion and try again later when these boundaries are violated? 

What does God have to do with it?

I have to put a plug in for a Creator encouraging going the extra mile in marriage. A great advantage of my being a God-follower is knowing good enough isn’t enough. Marriages can fail despite an 85% success rate. Great marriages aren’t about being good enough or not as bad as other partners. The best goal of marriage or any relationship is aiming for perfection. My view of God, as an encourager and forgiver, inspires me to pursue perfection in my relationships without being paralyzed by guilt when failing. I have the “want to” to be perfect – okay getting closer to perfect. That credit goes to God!

Click on FOLLOW button on this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com

How Do You Not Turn A Child Away From God?

It can be disheartening when our child does not share the same beliefs or passion about God as they get older. I have good news if reading this and kids are young or grown. My kids are in their thirties. I have things I could have done better. I did apologize what I thought I could do differently. If a parent has any kind of relationship, kids will get over mistakes. If kids are younger, you can plan ahead. Decide if my plan below makes sense or develop your own.

Parents. communicate the real reason for a relationship with God 

Many of us who grew up in church were taught the reason Jesus came to this earth was to save us from Hell so we could go to Heaven. Your kid isn’t going to Hell regardless of their beliefs. A literal Hell isn’t biblical. See here.  Jesus spoke of loving God not to get into heaven but to receive help in loving others here on earth. See here.  Personally, the biggest reason for being a God-follower is the forgiveness, inspiration, and encouragement I sense in striving to be a better human being. Influences in our life don’t have to be audible. My parents aren’t alive but I am still influenced. Pursuit of a godly life is never in vain!  The best a parent can do as children age is less talking if not interested and walking the talk. If God exist, God can handle matters.

Parents, it’s their journey not yours 

Many parents assume if their kid question, doubt, or even wants nothing to do with God that they are going to Hell. Not true! When children are young and a parent believes in God and walks the talk for the most part, kids are likely to go along for the ride. But as our children get older, their relationship with God is their own personal journey. They aren’t into God like you. Relax! Stop worrying! Your belief in a personal God suggests God will engage with them in their own journey.

The Bible doesn’t always determine what God is really like 

The biggest mistake I made as a parent was believing my interpretation of the Bible was always right. My son came to me after his teachers suggested evolution was the creative process God used for the creation of humans. I was emphatic that evolution wasn’t true because of my biblical interpretation of the Bible. Turns out I could be wrong – https://biologos.org/  I could have advised what I believe, but he had to decide what he is going to believe. Besides, it can’t be proven all written down in our Bibles about God was inspired by God, that the writers always understood God perfectly.

What image of God you portray to your children is so important!

The Bible is subject to interpretation and scholars don’t agree on many moral issues addressed in the Bible. We can also determine what God is like according to one’s own moral intuitions. Your child’s view of what a moral God is like is valid. Our mental views of God shape our attitudes toward God. My view of God inspires me to pursue perfection in my relationships without being paralyzed by guilt when failing. I have the “want to” to be perfect. I believe that motivation comes from God! Surely a loving God only seeks to love you like you wish you were always able to love others. We all know how we wish our parents had loved us. This is the God you can believe. Don’t convey God is hard to please and pissed off about sin rather than what sin is doing to us. 

Have a Plan!

Don’t assume that your child’s unbelief or lack of a relationship with God is one being rebellious. There are personal or intellectual reasonable objections to not believe. I was raised in a home that preached belief in God and attended church more than once a week. I didn’t have a great relationship with my parents who pushed that belief. I can’t tell you why I never turn away from God. It isn’t because I am so outstanding morally. Others turn away from God in my situation. A relationship with God is your child’s personal journey. Parents can share their personal beliefs and even encourage when younger, but eventually we must leave a child in the hands of God. Strive to have a open, loving relationship with your children.

Click on FOLLOW button on this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

What Are Harmful Lies About God?

I know “lies” is a strong word. There are many types of untruths. One is caught stealing via video but denies guilt. Then, there are less offenses. Christians leaders often make claims about God “according to God’s word.” They know fully well others who accept the authority of the Bible have a different interpretation of the same passages, yet they don’t openly share this. The Bible can be the main culprit for turning many away from God. A Book can’t really be held responsible for one’s actions, but certain views of the Bible proclaimed can be the problem. I don’t claim to always be right but I am admitting that. Decide for yourself what is likely true of a loving God.

A literal Hell is a lie! 

I am convinced that God creating a literal Hell is a biblical myth.  See here.

Women can’t be priests or preachers and should be more submissive than men is a lie

I doubt God would put men in leadership position over women, in marriage which has encouraged dominance on the man’s part leading to atrocities women face at the hands of men. Like many views about God, the Bible can also be interpreted to endorse roles according to gifts not gender. Shouldn’t the most qualified or gifted, whether male or female, be appointed CEO, preacher, or priest? That God thinks women can’t serve in the same roles as men is a myth. See here.

God condemns gays is a lie

A loving God couldn’t possibly condemn gays when they can no more choose who they are attracted to than straights can? If you are a straight man, don’t you naturally have to fight not looking at naked women than men? Ask gays their battle! Who chooses to be gay when one has to hide their sexuality because of bigotry and hostility? We claim God condemns gays according to the Bible. Another myth. See here.

God inspired, thus approved, all written in the Bible is a lie

See here.

 Salvation in the Bible is about avoiding Hell and getting into Heaven is a lie

The main message of the Bible/Jesus isn’t about going to Heaven or Hell but how to live life here on earth. That is true salvation. See here.

God is all powerful and controlling, thus allows evil, is a lie

If God allows evil, that mean God can stop evil and doesn’t. God can’t be loving and controlling. See here.  See here.

Jesus dying on the Cross so God didn’t have to kill you is a lie

God is not a blood-thirsty Jesus killer. Demanding the blood of an innocent party doesn’t legally resolve another person’s guilt. My going to jail for a friend’s wrongdoing doesn’t somehow clear my friend of their crime. God didn’t violate Judas’ freedom by requiring he betray Jesus. Jesus accepting death than powering over others may be the reason billions have been influenced to live unselfishly. God isn’t pissed at you for sinning. God just wants you to change for your good and those you have relationships with. See here.

You are doomed in the afterlife if not a Christian is a lie 

A loving God wouldn’t only let Christians into heaven when the majority of people born into this world died without knowledge of the Bible or Jesus. One’s religion, or rebellion against a certain religion, is often based on the family born into whether it is Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, etc. Is God a God of chance? I am convinced all will meet their Creator in the afterlife and decide whether they want to live with God forever or not. See here.  See here.

You can’t be a God-follower if you don’t attend an institutional church is a lie 

In the Bible “Church” was not a building or a place attended once a week. Jesus referred to His followers as being the Church.  Jesus did not specify where followers must gather or what they must do. Find environments to be encouraged and inspire others to love as radically as Jesus did. Paul warned against the harm of divisions, also known as Denominations, among followers. (I Cor. 1:12) Let’s seek more. Some of us grew weary of religion but not God. See here.

God is pissed and views you as scum is a lie

God is not an angry egomaniac. God doesn’t want to be feared as if that leads to inspiring relationships. If God was so worried about their ego, God would not have given us freedom to contradict their wishes. God’s unforced desire for glory is no different than a loving parent’s desire for respect. They only want what we deep down desire – loving others like we want to be loved. I only know what a loving God may be like according to how a parent should love their child. My kids weren’t always saints but I hated their behavior, not them. See here.

God isn’t moral – humanly speaking – is a lie.

Even atheists believe One claiming to be God must be perfect. We must question biblical writers’ understanding of God if interpretations are contrary to people’s ideas of a perfect, loving God. When the Bible challenges us to be perfect like God (Mt. 5:48), the assumption is we can know what perfection is. Godly and human perfect love must be one and the same. See here.  See here.

God is a prayer genie is a lie

Praying doesn’t make God more caring. God is already doing all they can in a free world. Pretending God can simply heal without accounting for freedom can makes one’s suffering worse. Did I not pray or beg enough? Prayer isn’t about manipulating for gain but pursuing a relationship with our Creator for self-examination, sharing concerns, and not feeling alone in a chaotic world. God is not a Genie in a bottle who can singlehandedly all by themselves make things instantly happen without our help to change the world for good. See here.  See here.

God being an end-of-the-world doomsayer is a lie

God isn’t going to destroy the world in the supposed battle of Armageddon. One might ask if the Bible teaches God is going to destroy the world in the future, why did Jesus tell his audience that supposed predictions about the world ending would happen in their lifetime (Mt. 24:34). Jesus seemed to not be speaking of a sky-opening, physical rapture, or Jesus wouldn’t have warned of the signs to not miss His coming (Mt. 24:3-4). In the first century the temple and Jerusalem were destroyed and millions of lives were lost. Biblical Judaism ceased to exist. This could have been the end of the age that Jesus warned of. See here.

An ancient Book subject to interpretation cannot be the definitive voice of what God is really like. I can use my moral intuitions and common sense to imagine what a loving God is like. I am not clueless. A perfect human and spiritual parent surely have much in common.

Click on FOLLOW button on this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com