What God May Really Be Like – Misbeliefs About God

How The Heck Do You Parent Well?

Warning parents – Words of advice to your kids don’t nearly matter as much as your behaviors/actions. It determines if kids want to be like you and even if your kids like you. Good luck if you are the kind of parent that says “do as I say, not what I do.” Parenting is thousands of actions to do and avoid. It can help though to have a general plan to guide you. I will list several actions at the end to think about, but mainly I am going to suggest firm but gentle parenting is the key. I parented three kids who are now in their thirties. Looking back, I didn’t always succeed but I tried. Perfect parenting doesn’t even guarantee perfect kids, but I got lucky. You would be proud to call my kids your own.

What is firm parenting? 

Firm parenting basically is not constantly moving the bar regarding expectations. Your “no” must mean “no.” Don’t make the kids guess how to please or respect you. Good parenting looks for ways to say yes rather than no all the time, just because you are tired of the challenges of parenting. My biggest “no” was you will treat your sibling the same way I am expected to treat your Mom. That means no yelling at or putting your hands on each other when upset. If you are a parent with more than one child, you know this is an almost daily challenge when they are young. If you are saying no all the time, consider what actions you want to major on and go from there.

What is gentle parenting? 

One can be firm but gentle. If a kid is running out in the street without looking, all rules off. Yell at the top of your lungs and take action. But most misbehaviors don’t require such a reaction. Have you noticed kids are exhausting and exasperating! For some reason they don’t come into the world wanting to behave most of the time. Use a firm but not loud voice to state the expectation. If they don’t listen remove them from the scene of the crime. Spanking was not an option for me as a parent. It stifled creative discipline that is more effective. No, my kids didn’t end up in prison. 

Lots of other actions 

The challenges of parenting is unbelievable. You have to monitor screen time, you have to monitor that snacks aren’t the main meal, you have to be concerned how kids these days are treating one another when no one is looking, etc. Here are a few personal parenting actions I think can help:

• Put the marriage first over the kids. Do stuff with your partner alone and communicate in words your partner is your first commitment. Kids will benefit in the long-run. I sucked at this!
• Be present in the moment and not distracted. Kids are boring when younger. Quite thinking what you aren’t getting done and be with them.
• False praise isn’t good but unexpressed gratitude toward the kids is the same as ingratitude
• Spanking is not necessary as stifles creative discipline that is more effective
• Pick your battles when appropriate to say “no” and mean it. Now that you are an adult, “what do you wish your parents had said ‘no’ to and minor on the rest? Stop changing the goalposts
• Discipline doesn’t always have to be immediate. You might come up with a better idea later. Let the kid wonder
• Knows the stages of parenting. See here.
• Insist the siblings treat one another like they want to be treated. NO bullying in this house either between mom and dad or siblings
• Controlling love is an oxymoron. As they get older (age debatable), kids need to be allowed to make their own decisions and suffer the consequences if necessary. Give choices and let them follow their own dreams not the parent’s dreams
• One last personal thing men – when we dated we tended to hold doors including the car, and other actions that conveyed love. I wish I had never stop holding the car door despite children. I am back in the habit for years unless hot as hell in the car and the wife wish I get the AC going first before they get in. The wife doesn’t always love this new habit, but I ain’t changing
• Want more suggestions? See here.

Oh yea, this is a spiritual blog! 

One can be a great parent despite not believing in God or have a relationship with God. No excuses! I am bias. God’s influence in my life has made me a better husband, parent, and friend. I am convinced God loves me the same way I desire deep down to be known for loving others and my children. I have written before how and what a relationship with God is like – What Is The Greatest Advantage Believing In God If So Inclined? Consider all the human and spiritual help you need to be the very best parent you can be.

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

What Is Jesus Really Advising On The Sermon On The Mount?

Non-church goers may have never heard of Jesus’ most popular sermon (Matthew 5-7). I was listening to a sermon on this familiar passage by a very reasonable, respected pastor. I thought as I listened how some individuals may come away disheartened that God isn’t empathetic toward their circumstances. Sometimes passages need to be nuanced to explain how certain advice may not be applicable to their situation. We have to discern when Jesus was using hyperbole for emphasis without stating exceptions.

²² But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. 

• Jesus wasn’t condemning all kinds of anger, or why then would Jesus call out religious hypocrites – “you blind fools” (Mt 23:17)? Sounds angry to me! Not all anger is the same. There is righteous anger. I would preach anger in general can get us in trouble, but there are always individual circumstances where God is mad as Hell as you are. Discern if your angry is what Jesus is addressing.

²³ “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you,²⁴ leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

• It is hard to be right with God if not right with others if reconciliation is possible and you know you are clearly in the wrong. But Jesus certainly didn’t always seek out the Pharisees to smooth things over. This passage may be encouraging us to reconcile with those that we know we have sinned against. We should try to make it right. If someone has sinned against you, that is on them. Be open to reconciliation if they approach you and seem sincere.

²⁷ “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’^[e]28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

• No contextual or interpretation problems here. Adultery and other sins have a beginning – often beginning in the heart or mind. Find a way to shut it down. It is never worth it!

³⁹ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.⁴⁰ And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. ⁴¹ If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. ⁴² Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

• I think speakers should always clarify they aren’t advocating women stay silent at the abusive hands of men or other abusive situations. Jesus surely is advising not responding evil with evil, not that one can’t protect themselves. The context is “not an eye for an eye.” In war if the enemy rapes and beheads, don’t respond in the same way. But, evil is real and may require protection and killing. I think Jesus was trying to get people to look for ways to change hearts in certain situations. Seek justice when appropriate not revenge.

⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor^[i] and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

• Preachers often bring up what Jesus said on the Cross – “God forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing.” Maybe Jesus’ persecutors didn’t know that Jesus was really who He claimed to be. Still, I admit if I was Jesus I would have hopped off the Cross and kicked their ass with miraculous powers. Does a father who sexually abuses his child not know what they are doing? We mustn’t speak as if every situation is the same!

What is Jesus’ message to you?

Honestly, I don’t know what God would advise in your situation. Try to be open to God’s influence. One may not seek reconciliation with a friend who refuses to admit any wrongdoing. Cutting them off could lead to better reflection. The Apostle Paul in one situation said “Expel the wicked person from your perspective” (I Cor 5:1-13). Isolation can bring one to their moral senses. Every situation is different. Read the Bible to discern for yourselves, perhaps with the help of friends, what the application is in your difficult circumstances. Consider how to go the extra mile. Consider what actions might possibly lead to reconciliation or change in hearts if others open.

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

Why Do We Censor Different Opinions Than Ours?

I assume most are aware of efforts to censor or quash contrary opinions. In the Religion arena, the word Heretic is thrown around against those who don’t agree that God condemns gays, that men are leaders of women in the marriage relationship, that Hell is a fiery, tortuous destiny, etc. Do their accusers not understand the Bible is ancient literature subject to interpretation, and biblical scholars don’t agree. The same actions have become more obvious in the political/science arena. People with contrary opinions to certain policies are called racists, conspirators, or misinformers. We must challenge those who censor as oppose to winning the debate in the public arena.

Acknowledging freedom and uncertainty are critical to leading us forward 

Freedom of ideas are what separate democratic societies from dictatorships. Freedom is often quashed because individuals claim certainty in their beliefs. Christians leaders condemn gays in God’s name because the Bible says so, and demands others believe as they do. They don’t consider they may be wrong. See here.  Climate experts don’t agree with the narrative concerning climate change. Claiming certainty rather than defending one’s position is not how a democracy works. One must have the freedom to make their own decisions when there is uncertainty. Religion and science are playing God (Superior) in the lives of others by claiming they know the truth and we are too stupid to decide for ourselves!

The benign reason for censorship is one believes they are right for the good of all 

It doesn’t matter if you think you are right and doing what is best for the good of the land. Certainty is an illusion unless taking about universal moral sins such as rape or incest. Try claiming certainty in your personal relationships. If married you are probably headed toward divorce. Most decisions are not black and white and require open debate by those in authority. One must have the freedom to decide what is the best decision for themselves, or the powerful rule the powerless.

The nefarious reason why others censor others. 

One may not oppose censoring activities for fear losing security (their livelihood) because they disagree with the popular, uncertain narrative. In politics differing with the popular opinion might not lead to reelection. Pastors risk being kicked out of the pulpit. It is morally wrong to shut down disagreement. I am convinced racism is evil (that blacks are an inferior race), but I must be open to debating those who disagree. I like my chances of winning the argument with others.

One though may actively censor the opinions of others for control and power over others. Control and power can have financial benefits. Losing the argument in the public arena may lead to loss of power or position. Control and power flourish when others are not allowed to discuss alternative opinions in the public arena. One way to judge one’s motive is by demanding answers as to why refusing debate. If one is sure they are right for the good of all, why fear convincing others? It was questioned if the Covid shots stopped infection and transmission, so to not enforce mandates. Turns out they were right. Supposed truth-tellers insisted on protecting grandma. They were wrong. Truth must win in the arena of debate so one has freedom of choice in the land of uncertainty.

Actions

• If many disagree with your opinion, be openminded. Consider why you are afraid to defend your belief if you supposedly know the “truth”

• It is more important to protect one’s freedom to choose when the possibility exist you could be wrong

• If church leadership calls those who disagree with their view of God heretics, challenge them or leave. They can’t even prove God exist. This is a personal, freedom decision

• If politicians support censorship or label those who disagree with them as misinformers, vote them out. Why believe their view if they can’t defend their views for the supposed good of the world?

• When we stop censoring or labeling others as heretics or conspiracists, we may come to a decision best for the good of most

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

Why Can’t We Discuss Our Political, Science, Or Religious Differences?

Our world seems so divided. Christians often label others heretics if they don’t believe there is a literal Hell or that God doesn’t condemns gays. Hardly a conversation starter. Science seems to have followed in Religion’s footsteps. Those who question if Covid shots are as safe and effective as claimed are labeled anti-vaxers, though they may have gotten the flu vaccine for years. In politics opponents are labeled a racist or conspiracist without proof. If you avoid discussions when others aren’t acting irrational, I would love to hear your thoughts as to why. My email is at the end.

Why Christians may suck at discussing differences

I will use myself as an example unfortunately. It’s not meant to be an excuse. I believed decades ago that God condemned gays though they could no more control their attractions than straights. I was wrong. See here.  I used to believe God sent those who didn’t have the right kind of faith while here on earth to a fiery, torturous afterlife. I was wrong. See here.  I am convinced the only reason I believed as I did was because of my understanding of the Bible. How could I be devoted to God if I didn’t follow the Bible’s teachings? Christians may not listen to different beliefs because they assume their interpretation or a biblical writer’s understanding of God is right. Stay openminded!

How we discuss our opinions is important 

We often are busy thinking we are right and preparing our response than listening. There are obvious reasons to avoid discussions with certain people. It is difficult to talk to others if they don’t control their emotions or convey they are right and you are wrong. We can’t have discussions with those who are rude or close-minded. But disagreements are normal in relationships. We can’t always prove what we believe is true about God. We can’t claim without debate if Covid shots or all the childhood vaccines are as safe as claimed. We can’t claim without debate if our climate control measures are best for the most human flourishing. But there may be deeper reasons why we avoid discussions with those who have different beliefs.

Societal influences can discourage discussion

News or information outlets one listen’s to may only report one viewpoint for whatever reason and imply other views are conspiracy. It is best to be aware of both sides of a different belief to decide for yourself. Church leadership often imply contra views to their own are heresy. Threats of being excommunicated, censored by authorities, or losing your job are real. The solution is for all to be free to discussion opinions openly without threats. If you know the “truth,” why be afraid to defend your view!

Most humans desire to integrate with a group, get along with its members, and benefit from them. The loner must fend for themselves. Both disagreeing with the perceived popular science narrative or disagreeing with church leadership about God’s character can lead to isolation or being ostracized.  Being your own person is a tough business. Thriving societies must support individuals being allowed to form their own opinions when universal agreement isn’t obvious. Misinformation isn’t opinions that don’t agree with your own. You may end up being wrong!

The fear of uncertainty can discourage discussion

Certainty rather than uncertainty is more comforting psychologically. One may believe what seems to be the popular narrative because unknowing can create confusion or anxiety. One can avoid anxiety by not discussing their beliefs with others who believe differently. I imagine most Leaders prefer being seen as knowing (certain) than not knowing (uncertain). For one to question a main belief they have been taught in church all their life, such as if Hell is real, can create anxiety about what other beliefs may be in question. Questioning if the Covid shots are as safe and effective if we have gotten the shots, can raised anxiety about our health. What if we pushed others to get the shots and we end up wrong? There may be an easy out. We sometimes trust those in authority, but we may come to realize such trust was misplaced.

What are the consequences of avoiding uncertainty?

The science often changes with further investigation. Many religious beliefs are subject to interpretation of a Book. That is why there are thousands of denominations with their own creeds. Certainty, not uncertainty, can lead others astray if one is wrong. Also, when only one side is presented, control and power grow intentionally or unintentionally. It should be intuitive denying diverse opinions is unloving and controlling. Most don’t except such behaviors in their personal relationships. A refusal to openly discuss or defend one’s views is a denial of personal choice and suggests an unhealthy dependency on “certainty.” Relax! Universal truths exist. What religion denies the main thing – to love and treat others like you want to be treated.

There can be nefarious reasons for preventing discussions 

The most benign explanation for censoring the opinions of others is not necessarily the fear of losing power as much as the fear of losing security (one’s livelihood). In my counseling career, I often questioned the narrative concerning psychotropic medications. A client is owed a discussion of both the risks and benefits of such an intervention for mental healthiness. I didn’t always share my opinion with psychiatrists in charge. I don’t fear conflict. But I am sure I feared potential loss of a job because I was in the minority and low on the totem pole. In politics differing with the perceived popular opinion might not lead to reelection. Pastors risk being kicked out of the pulpit.

The more evil explanation for censoring the opinions of others is one’s desire for control and power over others. Control and power also have financial benefits. Control and power flourish when others are not allowed to discuss alternative opinions in the public arena. Many may fear liability if they admit they are wrong and participated in thwarting discussion. One way to judge one’s motive is by demanding answers as to why one is refusing debate. If you are so sure you are right, why do you fear convincing others? Religion and science are playing God (Superior) in the lives of others by claiming they know the truth and we are too stupid to decide for ourselves!

What is truth?

Openminded people accept they may be wrong. We are more likely to be right when there seems to be almost universal agreement on the topic of concern. Most don’t defend rape, or physical or sexual abuse. Adultery isn’t wrong only in the eyes of the betrayer. But rational people do not agree on matters such as immigration policies, climate policies, marijuana legalization, if God condemns gays, if God inspired all of the Bible, etc. We must be willing to defend our views among one another rather than shut down those we disagree with. Those fortunate enough to live in a democratic society must accept the vote of the majority when comes to law setting. You can still defend your position in hopes of a future vote. May the best, most common-sense position win.

Love surely is the path forward to healthy discussions and debates 

My co-blogger rightly suggest love is the path forward. See here. We can strive to be the better person in conversation. But we have every right to oppose those who refuse to accept uncertainty and fight fairly. This can be done civilly but lack of freedom of speech is important for future generations. Leaders must be held accountable to be open-minded than certain. In our personal lives, we can try to engage with those who insist on certainty when it doesn’t exist but in time one may need to move on. We can stop labeling those who disagree with our biblical interpretations as heretics. We can stop calling those who disagree with our views of science or politics as conspiracists. Imagine how different as a people we would be if religious, science, and political folks talked openly for the common goal of pursing the greater good!

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

Why Bother Telling Others About God If All Going To Heaven?

In theological circles, arguments are made that a belief in Universalism (all are going to be saved any way and go to heaven after death) makes evangelism (encouraging others to have a relationship with God) pointless. I wrote about Universalism here.  There are biblical and moral reasons to argue for the possibility that all will be eventually saved in this life or in the life after death. I am not convinced such a belief makes influencing others toward God a wasted endeavor.

First of all Hell as a reason for faith is doubtful

I wrote that Hell (a place of forever punishment) is doubtful biblically and even morally from a loving God. See here.   See here.  The institutional church often teaches that God’s main mission is to save us from hell, so we could go to heaven after death here on earth. All we have to do is say a prayer: “Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross for my sins. Please forgive me. I receive You as my Lord and Savior. Help me to live for you.” I can find no place in the Bible where Jesus advised such a prayer or demanded certain confessions to follow Him. The threat of Hell can’t possibly lead to a genuine relationship with God. Who wouldn’t just say the prayer to avoid torture?

Why then encourage others to consider faith in God here on earth? 

The Bible seems to suggest God seeks to empower us to be the unselfish people we deep down desire to be. Jesus sought to inspire others to seek God’s help in loving others for the good of the world. Jesus simply commended Zacchaeus for recognizing a journey necessary to avoid personal destruction because of sin. Salvation is not a future destination but a currently reality (Lk 19).  Jesus told the woman who had committed adultery: “go now, and leave your life of sin” (John 8).  A relationship with God isn’t a future but current reality. Surely a loving God seeks to encourage us to pursue heavenly than worldly ways here on earth for our own happiness.

Why not live like hell here on earth?

I have been under God’s influence most of my life. I’m not necessarily more moral than many who don’t have a relationship with God. I am positive though I am a better husband, father, and friend because of God’s influence. God only wants to help you become the person you deep down desire to come. We will fail but God is quick to forgive and help us to get back up. Go ahead and live like Hell while here on earth! Careful the regrets you, your family, and friends will feel at the end of your life. Decide on short or long-term happiness. Careful that our character developed here on earth may make the change process longer and more painful in the life to come.

What’s next?

The Bible talks about everyone, whether having faith here on earth or not, will be judged. After death God may bring to memory actions of betrayal and how it felt to their victims. The cleansing and educative effect may take longer for some than others. Justice from a fair, merciful God is possible despite people being given a second chance after death. We don’t know exactly what happens after life here on earth. We are free to speculate what a loving God might do. It is just as reasonable, if not more reasonable, to believe a loving God can choose to take forever in this life and the life to come to save everyone from themselves.

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

All Will End Up In Heaven According To The Bible!

I admit the title of this Post is bold. If my title had been “Where Will One End Up After Death?” you may not have bothered to read, assuming I would support common claims about the threat of Hell if you dare to rebel against God. Translation and interpretation challenges don’t guarantee a definitive answer from a Book. Also, biblical writers may not know all about the afterlife because God didn’t speak to them directly. We are free to speculate about a loving God’s character and actions. I have a strong inclination all are going to heaven!

Hell is morally and biblically impossible 

Many who believe God exist agree God has given us moral intuitions to discern evil from good. We don’t need a Book to know sexual abuse or murder is wrong. God creating a literal Hell where people are tortured for billions of years for beliefs held a short time here on earth isn’t possible morally or biblically. See here. See here. Humans wouldn’t even create such a place for our enemies. God or humans can’t possibly be happy in heaven if loved ones are tormented after death forever. If God supposedly has such control over happiness, why not use the same power over rebelliousness?

God giving up isn’t divinely possible 

God’s nature doesn’t allow giving up on forgiving. There are consequences in this life and there may be painful reckonings in the life to come, but God can’t stop showing grace. Why would God undergo a complete character lobotomy after we take our last breath here on earth? Is a thief going to enter Paradise but not others with lesser sins because they weren’t next to Jesus hanging on Cross right before their last breath? God’s grace doesn’t depend on whether one has more opportunities to respond to God than others. Even imperfect human parents wouldn’t cut off a child who eventually accepts responsibilities for their actions. 

Turns out even the Bible suggests all will be saved

Skeptic readers may argue that the Bible clearly says only those who believe go to Heaven. One may be surprised that just as many verses imply God will save everyone. David Bentley Hart reminds us of the many verses in the Bible that suggest God will eventually save all. The following verses are Hart’s translation from the Greek as he attempts to not include or add words that may make the reading easier or possible convey a translator’s personal belief about being saved:

Romans 5:18-19

So, then, just as through one transgression came condemnation for all human beings, so also through one act of righteousness came a rectification of life for all human beings; for, just as by the heedlessness of one man the many were rendered sinners, so also by the obedience of the one the many will be rendered righteous 

I Cor 15:22

For just as in Adam all die, so also in the Anointed (Christ) all will be given life 

2 Cor 5:14

For the love of the Anointed constrains us, having reached this judgment: that one died on behalf of all; all then have died

Rom 11:32

For God shut up everyone in obstinacy so that he might show mercy to everyone

I Tim 2:3-6

…our savior God, who intends all human beings to be saved and come to a full knowledge of truth. For there is one God, and also one mediator of God and human beings: a human being, the Anointed One Jesus, who gave himself as a liberation fee for all

Titus 2: 11

For the grace of God has appeared, giving salvation to all human beings

John 12:32

And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will drag everyone to me

John 12:47

For I came not that I might judge the cosmos, but that I might save the cosmos

I John 4:14

And we have seen and attest that the Father has sent the Son as savior of the cosmos

2 Peter 3:9

The Lord is not delaying what is prompted, as some reckon delay, but is magnanimous toward you, intending for no one to perish, but rather for all to advance to a change of heart

Philip 2:9-11

For which reasons God also exalted him on high and graced him with the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bend – of beings heavenly and earthly and subterranean – and every tongue gladly confess that Jesus the Anointed is Lord, for the glory of God the Father

I John 2:2

And he is atonement for our sins, and not only for ours, but for the whole cosmos

I Tim 4:10

We have hoped in a living God who is the savior of all human beings especially those who have faith

What about Justice? 

Punishment doesn’t bring back a victim’s robbed memories of the future due to the murder of a loved one. Real justice is understanding your victim’s pain and accepting the harmfulness of your actions. After death God may bring to memory every action of betrayal and how it felt to their victims. The cleansing and educative effect may take longer for some than others. Humans like God may forgive their enemies if they truly regret their actions and seek forgiveness. Justice from a fair, merciful God is possible despite people being given a second chance after death.

What would a loving God do after death here on Earth? 

We don’t know what happens after life here on earth. No one can claim the Bible has the definitive answer. We are free to speculate what a loving God might do.  It is just as reasonable, if not more reasonable, to believe a loving God that is able to create will take forever, if necessary, to save everyone from themselves. God only wants to help you become the person you deep down desire to come. We will fail but God is quick to forgive and help us to get back up. Go ahead and live like Hell while here on earth! Careful the regrets you, your family, and friends will feel at the end of your life. Careful that our character developed here on earth may make the change process longer and more painful in the life to come.

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

Why Hell Can’t Be True!

The Gospel or God’s main message has been hijacked! We have been told forever it seems that Jesus’ death on the Cross was to spare us from going to Hell to appease God’s angry about our sins. What kind of spiritual or human relationship is built on fear and avoiding fiery torture. A literal Hell can’t be morally or biblically possible.

Hell is morally impossible

Most who believe God exist agree God has given us moral intuitions to discern evil from good. We don’t need a Book to tell us that sexual abuse or murder is wrong. God creating a literal Hell where people are tortured for billions of years for beliefs held a short time here on earth isn’t morally possible. We humans wouldn’t even create such a place or destination for our enemies. If God’s goodness isn’t the same as human goodness, God then sometimes isn’t good. God or humans can’t possibly be happy in heaven if loved ones are being tormented after death day after day. If God supposedly has such control over happiness, why not use the same power over rebelliousness?

Hell is an impossible free choice 

For a minute forget about the Hitler example and think of family and friends who don’t believe in God or follow Jesus the way you do. They may score higher on the morality scale than you. One may suggest that God gives one the freedom to choose their destiny after life here on earth. How is it rationally possible for anyone to choose hell/torture in their right mind over Heaven. No one puts their hand in a fire and leaves it there. We would call them insane, not truly free. One is not truly free if they choose Hell. If Hell was true, a loving God would be obligated to make sure one understood this reality. Doing so would make the choice of Hell impossible. 

God can’t possibly believe in Hell

Many who argue for the reality of Hell because of the Bible suggest that same Bible reveals God is all-knowing including knowing the future. I have claimed as others that God’s can’t know the future if freedom is genuine. See here.  If God somehow knew the future, that means God created knowing millions would burn in Hell forever. It may be suggested that is one’s choice, but I argued above no one would freely choose Hell. You can’t convince me that God would ever create a human being if Hell was a reality. I wouldn’t have children if I knew their destination may be forever torture. Why would God?

God giving up isn’t conceivable 

Can God really stop being forgiving? Bible scholars don’t agree whether the Bible suggests second chances after death or not. There are consequences in this life and there may be painful reckonings in the life to come, but God can’t stop showing grace. Why would God have a complete character lobotomy after we take our last breath here on earth? Is a thief going to enter Paradise but not others with lesser sins because they weren’t next to Jesus hanging on Cross right before their last breath? God’s grace doesn’t depend on whether one has more opportunities to respond to God than others. Even imperfect human parents wouldn’t cut off a child who eventually accepts responsibilities for their actions.

The only reason one may believe in Hell because of the Bible 

No one really believes in their belief that Hell is real. If they did, they would never stop convincing their loved ones and friends they will burn forever if they don’t repent. The only reason one might believe in Hell is because they believe the Bible obligates them to do so. The English word “Hell” is a translation of the Greek word Gehenna. Jesus spoke of a place called Valley of Hinnom (Gehenna) outside of Jerusalem. Corpse were burned not kept alive. This is how you know interpretations have gone array. They have used a metaphor to push fear to obey and that you are kept alive in the fire to continue burning. Hell isn’t biblical. See here.

Why it matters knowing Hell isn’t real

Hell doesn’t lead to a relationship with God or even changed lives. What kind of relationship comes forth when threatened with endless torture if you don’t obey. Are you close to your parents because of fear, or because they are the kind of people you want to grow up to be like? God isn’t saving you from Hell, but hoping to help you become more the person you desire to be while here on life. Go ahead and live like Hell while here on earth! Careful the regrets you, your family, and friends will feel at the end of your life. Fear may work temporarily in the religion or political arena, but it can’t last. Jesus came to encourage living a life worth living – not to get you out of Hell.

Credit: That All Shall Be Saved: Heaven, Hell, and Universal Salvation: Hart, David Bentley:

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

How Do You Know What God Is Telling You To Do?

I write Posts often with two groups in mind. One group is those who have attended a church for years and either continue to go or have stop attended due to disagreements what God is really like.  The second group is those who are inclined to believe there is a God but have not been church-goers. The former group is more familiar with the pressure to know God’s will in your life. The latter group may wonder how do you know when God is directing you, when they hear others say “I had to do it because that’s what God told me to do.”

Does God really control all that is going on? 

It is natural to think an all-knowing, powerful God has special insights into future outcomes. But to say God knows the future suggests a predetermined future which makes freedom nonsensical. God can’t know if your marriage will end up in divorce or your new job position will be discontinued in the future. God joins us relationally in a free, unknown future. God’s plan can’t be a detailed blueprint but a general one to set us free to love. God hopes as we do that our actions make a positive difference in the world. One can rightly question if God supposedly knows the future, why does God hide it from me? What parent does that if suffering could be avoided?

God may not speak to us demonstratively out of love

Just because earthly parents sometime know and advise what is best for their older child, such advice doesn’t always work out. In fact, overzealousness on the parent’s part can lead to a child feeling controlled, thus rejecting what is best for one’s own good. God’s awing or overwhelming presence may only lead to fearful obligations to obey. The road traveled of learning, reflecting, and not being pressured may best lead to lasting convictions and more meaningful relationships.

What is God telling us to do? 

I know for a fact a loving God is telling me to love others like I want to be loved. That isn’t always clear what action to take, but neither can it be for God unless God has predetermined the future. Many decisions are obvious wrong – murder, abuse, adultery, etc. God doesn’t have to speak. Many decisions though aren’t black and white, even for God. Do we speak up about one’s behavior or risk driving them further away? God joins us in considering risks to change the world for better. God feels the disappointment we do when things don’t work out for the best.    

Influences in our life don’t have to be audible or certain. My parents aren’t alive, but I still sense their influence. God can’t tell us either that our decisions will work out. God deals with a free world also. God is hoping with us that our decisions will make for a better world. Don’t we sense God’s influence when we have thoughts to be the perfect partner, parent, or friend we desire to be deep down. God isn’t as hidden as we might think. God gives us the freedom to make decisions, and I understand the consequences of immoral decisions. God is in our uncertain life with us.

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

Who The Heck Would Want A Biblical Marriage?

I think the Bible can become an idol depending on one’s view of the Bible. See here.  We are encouraged to have a biblical business, family, life, church, or marriage. But we can’t prove God dictated or controlled the biblical writers’ pens or reeds (I can google) to record God’s thoughts perfectly. The Bible is God’s story beginning with Israel and culminating with the life of Jesus that we don’t possess in any other document, but it is important to read the Bible with a questioning and open spirit. Do we really want biblical marriages?

In the Bible marriage was between two men

In the Bible marriage was typically a contract between two men – the father of the man and the father of the woman. A payment was often made by the father of the woman (you guessed it) to the father of the man. Also, there was no Hebrew word for “husband,” or “wife.” These words were added in translations of the Bible later. See here.  In a patriarchal culture a woman was basically viewed as property – first to her father and then to the man given to by the father. Was this really God’s ideal?  I’m not a woman, but I doubt women want to go back to biblical marriages must less before they could vote!

Then, in the Bible marriage often was not between just one man and one woman

It was a very common marital arrangement in the Old Testament for men to have multiple wives. Most are familiar with the stories of two supposed spiritual giants in the Old Testament – Kings David and Solomon. Who hasn’t heard David was a man after God’s own heart. Not always the God I know! Solomon had hundreds of women at his disposal. Polygamy was never condemned in the Bible. Do we really want to go back to biblical marriages? My wife would argue one husband is enough of a cross/burden to carry!

In the Bible marriage was more about procreating than romantic love

There is not a Hebrew word for husband, wife, or even marriage.  You don’t read of marriage ceremonies or honeymoons. In Hebrew it’s more about the man “taking” the woman. You never of course read a woman taking a man.  An example of this is Genesis 29:23 – “he (Laban) took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and Jacob made love to her.” It may sound like it but this wasn’t the father giving the daughter for prostitution. One could argue in the Bible the woman was more like property given to the man to have children and build his legacy. If this is your cup of tea, you are reading the wrong blog.

What if a woman’s man dies?

We have laws and stories in the Bible where men were required to impregnate his sister-in-law if her man died. (Deut. 25:5). I don’t read where the woman has any say so in the matter, in case she didn’t want to have a child with her brother-in-law. My wife’s sisters probably feel the same way. 

Even in the New Testament women had few rights

It doesn’t seem much changed from OT times to when Jesus lived. When Jesus advised that a man could only divorce a woman for adulterous reasons, the disciples said “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” (Mt. 19:9-10). They seemed to think marriage is about men’s rights. Also, though Jesus didn’t exactly say so, you mean to tell me Jesus didn’t think women could divorce for the same reason? This passage has multiple interpretations, so we are free to speculate what an ideal marriage is in God’s eyes.

What kind of marriage does God want? 

Personally, I don’t want anything to do with biblical marriages. And biblical marriages didn’t happen in churches administered by a preacher-type. The wife and I need a redo. Should we stop this practice?  I admit I can’t read God’s mind. But somehow, I know how I ought to treat others especially women. I don’t want any father telling a woman who she must marry for money. I certainly don’t want my parents telling me who to marry. They struck out. I have been married 41 years with three great kids. Turns out she is the saint, not their beloved son. Read the Bible for possible wisdom, but seek to have a godly marriage instead of a biblical marriage.

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com  

Do You Feel Guilty Only Praying To God In A Crisis?

I admit I am writing this Post as a confession/comfort. Do you ever feel guilty because you don’t have regular prayer times with God, or you often only formally pray when times are tough. Maybe God isn’t offended. Maybe God cares more about the relationship than obligatory “sit downs.” The best kind of human relationships are spontaneous than because of rigid formalities.

God can’t just wave a magic wand

It is important to remember God must account for freedom to be loving. It’s not that we didn’t pray enough with the right words and behaviors so God will answer. God can’t make one’s partner willing to stop drinking without violating their freedom. God can’t interfere in a job matter without impacting all who are interviewing.

What about healing prayers? 

A lot of prayers asking for healing are obviously not answered. I doubt God is just being stingy or some beg God better. I doubt miracles are arbitrary. Conditions in our body may not always be right. Various biological and environmental factors are involved such as cells, organs, etc. If God wouldn’t take away your human freedom, it may not be a stretch to say God has to account for nature’s freedom as well. Miracles can happen when God’s uncontrolling love aligns with countless factors known and not known. God surely intervenes by all means when circumstances will allow. I am not sure we even have to ask. God is always loving.

Prayer isn’t God waiting to be asked to love

God may wait for our invitation for personal help to be more the person we deep down desire to be, but God is tireless in doing all they can for others – what parents isn’t – but God desperately seeks our help to change the world. God can’t singlehandedly change a free world without our help. But the truth is it can rain on the righteous and the sun can shine on evil in an uncontrolled world (Mt 5:45).

Prayer isn’t more talking but acting 

Relax! God is an omnipresent Spirit. God already knows needs before spoken. We don’t have to pray to inform God. Be careful. Don’t let prayer be a substitute for acting. It is easier sometimes to pray for someone than take cooperative actions with God. This is the most common way that God answers prayers – with the help of others. Rather than praying your friend’s partner stop drinking, which is harming their family, see if your friend would rather you say something to their partner. When you know two friends are in conflict, consider speaking to the one wrongly denying any wrongdoing. God longs to help us help others. You don’t have to pray to God to act.

So, what is prayer?

Prayer is more of a relationship than just talk. I’m not more moral than others; maybe I am a more needy-son-of-a gun. I tend to interact with God when writing for my blog, when listening to a spiritual podcast, etc. Now, when I am faced with suffering or a challenge, you better believe I have more formal prayers. Prayer is a relationship with God in whatever way seems more relational to you. God is always listening. God speaks to us mostly through self-reflection as God seeks to empower us to make decisions based on our gifts and aspirations. God speaks when we hear: I love you; I forgive you; I won’t abandon you. Seek a natural relationship with God in your own way. Conversations don’t have to be formal prayers.

Click on FOLLOW at bottom right of this page to enter email address to be notified of future Posts. No other unrelated emails will be sent. Go to About/Using This Site tab at top of page or Menu on phones to help navigate this Site. I also blog at http://donewithreligion.com If you wish to discuss anything I have written, you can email me at medwar2@gmail.com